Dear Mary: On a troublesome festive invitation
I have been alone in the country this festive season as my adult children and most of my friends are…
Dear Mary solves problems for Nicky Haslam, Nigel Slater, Professor Mary Beard and others
From Nicky HaslamQ. Being considered something of a guru on the subject of things common, can you advise me how…
Dear Mary: How to stop someone from giving my tiny children expensive clothes that they never wear?
Q. Is there a tactful way to deter certain people from buying clothing for one’s tiny children as Christmas presents?…
Right on time
Are you habitually late for social events on the grounds that everyone knows how busy you are and that you…
Dear Mary: How can I protect my sick husband from his friends?
Q. My husband is, in a word, adorable. However, following a substantial brain operation, his doctor has told him that…
Dear Mary: How can I shut up business travel bores?
Q. I work in the London art market. Often, when I run into a fellow dealer and ask how they…
Dear Mary on cheering up an ageing Adonis....
Q. The other night, as I arrived at the John James exhibition on Fulham Road, I stopped to say hello…
Dear Mary: why are young women dyeing their hair grey?
Q. I have lunch once a month with an old university friend. Over the years we have both thickened out…
Dear Mary: How can we make our dinner guests go?
Q. Many of our best and oldest friends have done so well they have stopped work. Meanwhile my husband still…
Dear Mary: How can I greet friends without clashing specs?
Q. As an old trout, large in height and breadth, I have taken a leaf out of the documentary Advanced…
Dear Mary: Another way to deal with a maddening blackhead
Q. Might I suggest an alternative solution to E.B. of London’s problem (3 October) about the person sporting a ‘maddening’…
Dear Mary, do I have to go to see my friend perform again?
Q. A friend of mine is performing a recital in Dublin and has sent round an email advertising the time…
Dear Mary: How can I make visiting friends realise it is a burden to take them to see the sights?
Q. I am an impoverished artist living in a famously cheap European city, largely for reasons of economy. I love…
Dear Mary: How do I address a magistrate of indeterminate sex?
Q. Some years ago, while appearing as a barrister before a bench of three magistrates in the youth court, I…
Dear Mary: A horrid woman accused me of hogging a spare train seat
Q. I regularly travel on the Ashford-St Pancras train and usually put my case on the seat next to me…
Dear Mary: how can I resist peer pressure to go nude swimming?
Q. I am going on a late holiday with a group of people who are keen on nude swimming, which…
Dear Mary: How do you persuade your drunk friend to leave a party when the taxi arrives?
Q. How do you persuade someone drunk to leave a party when it doesn’t make sense for them to stay?…
Dear Mary: Is there a tactful way to tell a dear cousin she needs a lump removed from her face?
Q. How can you tactfully tell someone that the large skin tag or blob they have grown in the centre…
Dear Mary: I don’t want perfumed people to hold my baby
Q. Is there a polite way of not letting someone hold your baby? I love giving mine to people to…
Dear Mary: I was at the dinner party when the text came disinviting me
Q. While renting in Rock last week, I ran into an acquaintance who invited me to join her large house…
Dear Mary: Dare I put my wife and three ex-mistresses all at the same table?
Q. I have learned that someone I much admired in youth is about to become single again. I only have…
Dear Mary: How can I flirt on the train when a man who knows my old habits is watching?
Q. Travelling on a train recently I happened to notice two former acquaintances, sitting together and very nearly opposite me,…
Dear Mary: unacceptable behaviour at a book signing
Q. At a recent literary festival I attended a talk with a high-profile octogenarian writer. I had already bought her…
Dear Mary: How can I survive a house with shared bathrooms?
Q. I am anxious about a forthcoming house party to which several people in my friendship group have been invited.…
Dear Mary: Before an old boys’ reunion, should I tip people off to an interesting fact?
Q. The problem encountered by R.B. of Fareham (6 June) is similar to one I wish to avoid. I have…
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