Dear Mary: help me to engineer a date with this charming army officer
Q. I have a deep crush on an army officer I’ve met through work. He is decisive, practical and doesn’t…
Dear Mary: my niece hasn’t returned the small sum I lent her
Q. My niece, who came to stay with me in the country for the weekend, arrived without cash and asked…
Dear Mary: My husband leaves all cupboards and drawers open
Q. Re. your letter from F.C. about the boyfriend leaving lids off (20 February), I have a similar problem. My husband…
Dear Mary: new neighbours want me to provide a ready-made social scene
Q. Former colleagues, with whom I got on very well in the context of the office, are buying a house…
Dear Mary: How can I teach my boyfriend to put the lids back on?
Q. I love my boyfriend but he has a terrible habit I was unaware of before he moved in. If…
Dear Mary: How can I teach my godson to write thank-you letters?
Q. I recently rediscovered a wonderful 22-year-old godson. He came to shoot for the first time and was a marvellous…
Dear Mary: Must I have name badges for guests at my wedding?
Q. My husband-to-be and I both work full time. We are getting married from his family HQ and his kind…
Dear Mary: How can I escape the New Year party that just won’t give up?
Q. For the past two New Year’s Eves we have ducked an annual party given by some acquaintances, who are…
Dear Mary: Our granddaughters are giving money away to a cause we do not support. Should we cut off their funding?
Q. We have two granddaughters working hard and happily at university. It is our pleasure to give them some cash…
Dear Mary: What do you do when too many people accept a party invitation?
Q. What can be done when more people than you can cater for accept an invitation? We are giving a…
Dear Mary: My neighbour is planning a girls’ night in — how can I escape?
Q. Although I have met most of the fellow occupants of my building at residents’ meetings, we don’t socialise. However…
Dear Mary: On a troublesome festive invitation
I have been alone in the country this festive season as my adult children and most of my friends are…
Dear Mary solves problems for Nicky Haslam, Nigel Slater, Professor Mary Beard and others
From Nicky HaslamQ. Being considered something of a guru on the subject of things common, can you advise me how…
Dear Mary: How to stop someone from giving my tiny children expensive clothes that they never wear?
Q. Is there a tactful way to deter certain people from buying clothing for one’s tiny children as Christmas presents?…
Right on time
Are you habitually late for social events on the grounds that everyone knows how busy you are and that you…
Dear Mary: How can I protect my sick husband from his friends?
Q. My husband is, in a word, adorable. However, following a substantial brain operation, his doctor has told him that…
Dear Mary: How can I shut up business travel bores?
Q. I work in the London art market. Often, when I run into a fellow dealer and ask how they…
Dear Mary on cheering up an ageing Adonis....
Q. The other night, as I arrived at the John James exhibition on Fulham Road, I stopped to say hello…
Dear Mary: why are young women dyeing their hair grey?
Q. I have lunch once a month with an old university friend. Over the years we have both thickened out…
Dear Mary: How can we make our dinner guests go?
Q. Many of our best and oldest friends have done so well they have stopped work. Meanwhile my husband still…
Dear Mary: How can I greet friends without clashing specs?
Q. As an old trout, large in height and breadth, I have taken a leaf out of the documentary Advanced…
Dear Mary: Another way to deal with a maddening blackhead
Q. Might I suggest an alternative solution to E.B. of London’s problem (3 October) about the person sporting a ‘maddening’…
Dear Mary, do I have to go to see my friend perform again?
Q. A friend of mine is performing a recital in Dublin and has sent round an email advertising the time…
Dear Mary: How can I make visiting friends realise it is a burden to take them to see the sights?
Q. I am an impoverished artist living in a famously cheap European city, largely for reasons of economy. I love…
Dear Mary: How do I address a magistrate of indeterminate sex?
Q. Some years ago, while appearing as a barrister before a bench of three magistrates in the youth court, I…
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