Food

A fantasy world with its own perfumed air: the Colony Grill Room

13 June 2015 9:00 am

The Beaumont Hotel is a bright white cake in the silent part of Mayfair, where the only sound is Patek…

Fenchurch in the Sky Garden – like going for dinner in Total Recall

30 May 2015 9:00 am

Fenchurch is a restaurant that is scared of terrorists. It cowers at the top of 20 Fenchurch Street, a skyscraper…

There’s only one place to mourn another Labour loss

16 May 2015 9:00 am

Ed is a plank. He was always a plank — and now he is in Ibiza being a plank. Plankety–plankety-plank:…

(Photo: Liavittone)

The Portrait restaurant: a secret glade of stone and brick, suspended above Trafalgar Square

2 May 2015 9:00 am

The Portrait Restaurant lives at the top of the National Portrait Gallery, London. It is fiercely modern, but likeable. You…

The Ivy Chelsea Garden: Richard Caring has finally built a restaurant I admire

18 April 2015 9:00 am

The Ivy Chelsea Garden is a restaurant inside an Edwardian house disguised as a Tudor house on the King’s Road;…

A cemetery with cocktails: La Coupole and the spirit of the brasserie

4 April 2015 8:00 am

La Coupole, Montparnasse, is the grandest and most famous of the old pre-war Parisian brasseries; that is, if you have…

Kitty Fisher’s: proof that the PM has good taste in restaurants, if not in friends

21 March 2015 9:00 am

David Cameron is too cowardly, or too cynical, to debate with Ed ‘Two or Possibly Three Kitchens’ Miliband — which…

Is the Dorchester the designated grand hotel for fat people? The portions at its new grill say so

7 March 2015 9:00 am

The Dorchester Hotel, Park Lane, is a cake floating in space. All grand hotels create a parallel universe in which…

Rowleys is Did Mummy Love Me Really? food – and it’s perfect

21 February 2015 9:00 am

I think Rowley’s is the perfect restaurant; but I am really a gay man. Rowley’s is at 113 Jermyn Street…

Rivea: a London annexe to the world’s maddest expensive restaurant

7 February 2015 9:00 am

Rivea (stupid name) is in the bowels of Bulgari in Knightsbridge, a hotel which looks like a vast Virgin Upper…

Quaglino’s, the vampire brasserie

24 January 2015 9:00 am

Quaglino’s is an ancient subterranean brasserie in St James’s, a district clinging to the 18th century with cadaverous fingers. It…

The real reason there’s a queue outside the Cereal Killer Café

10 January 2015 9:00 am

The Cereal Killer Café is a temple to cereal on Brick Lane, east London. It serves only cereal — and also…

The most preposterous restaurant to have opened in London this year

13 December 2014 9:00 am

Somerset House, a handsome Georgian palace on the Thames, was once the office of the Inland Revenue, and the courtyard was…

The hotels trying to turn Cornwall into Kensington

29 November 2014 9:00 am

Mousehole is a charming name; it is almost a charming place. It is a fishing village on Mount’s Bay, Cornwall,…

A buffet in an Egyptian tomb

15 November 2014 9:00 am

Atlantico is a vast buffet inside the Lopesan Costa Meloneras Resort Spa and Casino in Gran Canaria. The Lopesan Costa…

Want to shake hands with your dinner? Beast is your kind of restaurant

1 November 2014 9:00 am

Beast is next to Debenhams on Oxford Street and it is not conventionally beast-like; rather it is monetised and bespoke…

Gymkhana is morally disgusting – and fortunately the food’s disgusting too

18 October 2014 9:00 am

Gymkhana is a fashionable Indian restaurant in Albemarle Street. It was, according to its natty website, ‘inspired by Colonial Indian…

Today’s Disney princesses look like Russian mafia wives. This is their café

4 October 2014 9:00 am

The Disney Café is a gaudy hell on the fourth floor of Harrods, Knightsbridge. It is adjacent to the Harrods…

Rextail: a restaurant for billionaire children

20 September 2014 9:00 am

Rextail is a restaurant for billionaire children, such as Richie Rich. Its owner, Arcady Novikov, has already opened a restaurant…

Fischer’s is like visiting Vienna without having to go to Austria (thank God)

6 September 2014 9:00 am

Fischer’s is Austria made safe for liberals, gays, Jews and other Untermenschen riffraff, because it is a restaurant, not a…

Rhubarb has the loveliest, craziest dining room I have ever seen

23 August 2014 9:00 am

The Edinburgh Fringe Festival: the city is full of glassy-eyed narcissists eating haggis pizza off flyers that say Michael Gove:…

L’Escargot is Soho as Soho sees itself

9 August 2014 9:00 am

L’Escargot, or the Snail, is a famous restaurant on Greek Street, Soho, opposite the old Establishment club; the oldest French…

Does the Duke of Devonshire really want to be my friend – or is he just after my bank details?

26 July 2014 9:00 am

The Chatsworth estate, Derby-shire. I am overwhelmed by marketing literature. I am prostrate. I am weeping. I am staying in…

Dean Street Townhouse – at last! Somewhere I'd pay to eat

12 July 2014 9:00 am

Occasionally a critic must review a restaurant in which they are prepared to spend their own money. So here is…

At the Chiltern Firehouse, smugness should be on the menu

28 June 2014 9:00 am

Here then is Gatsby’s house, after an invasion by the Daily Mail. It is called the Chiltern Firehouse. It is…