Food

Tanya Gold reviews Attendant, London

23 March 2013 9:00 am

I love metaphor, and now metaphor has led me to a toilet near Goodge Street, in that thankless patch of…

Tanya Gold reviews Balthazar

9 March 2013 9:00 am

Balthazar is a golden cave in Covent Garden, in the old Theatre (Luvvie) Museum, home to dead pantomime horses and…

Tanya Gold reviews Planet Hollywood

23 February 2013 9:00 am

It’s Oscar time! I know this because the British media, usually so prudent, has transformed itself into naked advertorial for…

Tanya Gold reviews Maxim’s, Paris

9 February 2013 9:00 am

Maxim’s! The very name is drool from Maurice Chevalier’s lips, as he perved around Gigi and sang, ‘Thank heaven for…

Tanya Gold reviews The Churchill Arms, London

26 January 2013 9:00 am

The Churchill Arms in Kensington is a sort of Winston Churchill fetish bar, full of every conceivable piece of Winston…

Tanya Gold reviews Hawksmoor

12 January 2013 9:00 am

How many restaurants make a chain? If the number is four, then Hawksmoor, the superb chop-house named for the Baroque…

Tanya Gold reviews Goldeneye, Jamaica

29 December 2012 9:00 am

Goldeneye is the house in Jamaica where Ian Fleming wrote James Bond, and spanked his wife; that is why Fleming…

Tanya Gold reviews the Orient-Express

15 December 2012 9:00 am

The British Pullman on platform 1 at Victoria station looks mad, because it is 9 a.m. and ugly British commuters are running…

Tanya Gold reviews Colbert

1 December 2012 9:00 am

A creation myth: Earl -Cadogan wandered into Oriel, the ancient Sloane Square brasserie on his land, like a lardy dachshund,…

Tea and lunacy

17 November 2012 9:00 am

Food and fashion are enemies, so congratulations to the Berkeley Hotel for attempting detente with something insane. It has invented…

Dog stars

3 November 2012 9:00 am

Bubbledogs is a restaurant from cinema. It is violently 1980s, American and flash. The sign Bubbledogs shines neon pink from…

Evil empire

20 October 2012 9:00 am

Opus has written its name in letters six foot high outside, which is such a screaming act of narcissistic self-doubt,…

The lobsters that ate Piers Morgan

6 October 2012 9:00 am

Burger & Lobster is a -restaurant for capitalism in crisis, an existential moan for something simpler and less awful. Either…

Lord Sugar’s castle

22 September 2012 9:00 am

Alan Sugar’s Turkish restaurant, Sheesh, is in Chigwell, a land of soft lawns, hard money and fairies who count it.…

Cooking witches

25 August 2012 6:00 am

The Witchery is almost a themed restaurant; it is a weeping medieval tenement, just below Edinburgh Castle, which looks like…

Quarter-pounders with guilt

11 August 2012 6:00 am

The McDonald’s in the Olympic Park has 1,500 seats and is the biggest McDonald’s on earth. Let us ignore the…

A study in pink

28 July 2012 6:00 am

Brasserie Zédel is the pinkest restaurant I have ever seen. It is pig pink, Barbie pink, icing-sugar pink and tongue…

Eating the brand

14 July 2012 6:00 am

I thought I would hate Bulgari. (At least they have stopped calling it Bvlgari). Ah, you might say, surely Bulgari,…

Russian dolls

30 June 2012 6:00 am

Mari Vanna is in Knightsbridge, near those pale loitering houses that would be ripped up if only their owners could…

Sexy time

16 June 2012 6:00 am

Nick Clegg and sex. What doesn’t the dude know about it — he told Piers Morgan he had slept with…

Away with the pixies

2 June 2012 12:00 am

Dabbous is the place where stoned pixies would dine if they were into food. I have a fever and think…

Carry on screaming

19 May 2012 1:00 pm

The Bread Street Kitchen is a big restaurant near the Mansion House, brought to you by Gordon Ramsay’s big rage;…

Food: Jubilee tea

4 May 2012 11:00 pm

Fortnum & Mason is a major attraction at the UK heritage theme park, the equivalent of the gorilla at London…

Food: Full Marx

21 April 2012 2:15 pm

Quo Vadis is the restaurant in the house where Marx wrote Das Kapital, and today it is full of tulips.…

Food: Flesh and blood

7 April 2012 1:00 pm

Poor Hawksmoor. So obviously the genius of English Baroque, and yet he always comes last in the histories, behind flashy…