Self harm

19 January 2019 9:00 am

‘Can’t we just go back to screaming at each other?’

Dialogue

19 January 2019 9:00 am

‘You’re Brexausted.’

Health

19 January 2019 9:00 am

‘I can’t go on — the pain is too great.’

Murray

19 January 2019 9:00 am

‘So, what’s Plan B?’

Cliff

19 January 2019 9:00 am

‘Wait — are we allowed beef tomatoes?’

Go vegan

12 January 2019 9:00 am

‘She can’t get anything right.’

Wine

12 January 2019 9:00 am

‘I’m worried we might crash out.’

Crash out

12 January 2019 9:00 am

‘Since Veganuary she’s been very fussy about what food she photographs.’

Veganuary

12 January 2019 9:00 am

‘Then we add all the hidden sugar, salt and fat…’

Food

12 January 2019 9:00 am

Trains

12 January 2019 9:00 am

‘We come bearing gift receipts.’

Exchange

5 January 2019 9:00 am

‘Oh dear – I thought we were going to have a dry January.’

Brexit latest

5 January 2019 9:00 am

Brexit means

5 January 2019 9:00 am

‘Happy Nooooooooo Year.’

DUP

5 January 2019 9:00 am

‘You didn’t swear at me! How was I supposed to know it was urgent?’

Office

5 January 2019 9:00 am

‘Christmas is coming, the geese are putting themselves at risk of obesity-related diseases.’

Bed

15 December 2018 9:00 am

‘Stop arguing! This is going on social media.’

Social media

15 December 2018 9:00 am

Christmas party

15 December 2018 9:00 am

Alexa

15 December 2018 9:00 am

Talk

15 December 2018 9:00 am

Alice in Winter Wonderland

Alice

15 December 2018 9:00 am

‘Bloody elites.’

Elites

15 December 2018 9:00 am

‘I don’t want her to grow up reading fairy tales where she’s rescued by Prince Charming.’

All men

15 December 2018 9:00 am

‘You’re writing Christmas cards, not tweets!’

Tweets

15 December 2018 9:00 am