Netflix

23 June 2018 9:00 am

‘Can you bite my nails? I’m a vegetarian.’

Nails

23 June 2018 9:00 am

‘The exits are here, here, here…’

Exits

23 June 2018 9:00 am

‘I had the full English.’

English

23 June 2018 9:00 am

‘Yeah, cool, whatever...’

Hague

23 June 2018 9:00 am

‘Are you sure this isn’t Russian money?’

Money

23 June 2018 9:00 am

‘It’s not called “upskirting”, madam — it’s called “architrave”.’

A classical architecture gag

23 June 2018 9:00 am

‘The shower isn’t working!’

Bates

16 June 2018 9:00 am

‘Do you think he’s noticed we’re abroad?’

Hotel Splendido

16 June 2018 9:00 am

‘Peter Stringfellow has left you all his clubs.’

Stringfellow

16 June 2018 9:00 am

Stop Brexit

16 June 2018 9:00 am

Online

16 June 2018 9:00 am

‘Do you mind? There’s a queue!’

Lemmings

16 June 2018 9:00 am

‘This is the new runway for drunk BA pilots.’

Runway

16 June 2018 9:00 am

Books

16 June 2018 9:00 am

Football squad

16 June 2018 9:00 am

‘Dad’s a lot easier to buy for now that he’s a woman.’

Fathers day

16 June 2018 9:00 am

‘We have a specious relationship.’

Trade war

9 June 2018 9:00 am

Trains

9 June 2018 9:00 am

‘He demands his democratic right to draw a phallus on a ballot paper.’

Vote

9 June 2018 9:00 am

‘I thought I was dead, but it turned out I was just living in Surrey.’

Thorpe case

9 June 2018 9:00 am

Hazard

9 June 2018 9:00 am

‘I think you’ve had quite enough, dear… you’re beginning to sound like Jean-Claude Juncker.’

Lazy foreigners

9 June 2018 9:00 am

‘Waiter – is the fly in my soup locally sourced?’

Dinner

9 June 2018 9:00 am

‘At last, one that’s just right.’

Just right

9 June 2018 9:00 am