United

26 January 2019 9:00 am

‘We’ve renamed our science-fiction section.’

Shelf

26 January 2019 9:00 am

‘Isn’t that typical? They’ve banned wood-burning covens.’

Wood burning

26 January 2019 9:00 am

Sign

26 January 2019 9:00 am

‘Just a moment. I need to update my status.’

Devil

26 January 2019 9:00 am

‘Just something I picked up in the sales.’

Assault

26 January 2019 9:00 am

‘I could do with a laugh.’

TV

26 January 2019 9:00 am

‘It’s to stop him driving.’

Seat belt

26 January 2019 9:00 am

Blindfold

26 January 2019 9:00 am

‘See it, pay it, sorted.’

Tickets

19 January 2019 9:00 am

‘Yet another burning injustice.’

Wood stove

19 January 2019 9:00 am

‘But it’s nice pollution!’

Heat

19 January 2019 9:00 am

‘Brexit or Andy Murray?’

Cry

19 January 2019 9:00 am

MPs are receiving vicious abuse

MPs

19 January 2019 9:00 am

Self harm

19 January 2019 9:00 am

‘Can’t we just go back to screaming at each other?’

Dialogue

19 January 2019 9:00 am

‘You’re Brexausted.’

Health

19 January 2019 9:00 am

‘I can’t go on — the pain is too great.’

Murray

19 January 2019 9:00 am

‘So, what’s Plan B?’

Cliff

19 January 2019 9:00 am

‘Wait — are we allowed beef tomatoes?’

Go vegan

12 January 2019 9:00 am

‘She can’t get anything right.’

Wine

12 January 2019 9:00 am

‘I’m worried we might crash out.’

Crash out

12 January 2019 9:00 am

‘Since Veganuary she’s been very fussy about what food she photographs.’

Veganuary

12 January 2019 9:00 am

‘Then we add all the hidden sugar, salt and fat…’

Food

12 January 2019 9:00 am

Trains

12 January 2019 9:00 am