‘I draw the line at chlorinated chicken.’

Chicken

9 March 2019 9:00 am

‘It’s aimed at students.’

Subscribe

9 March 2019 9:00 am

‘They’re equally nightmarish.’

Life

9 March 2019 9:00 am

Right notes

9 March 2019 9:00 am

‘Well, that made a change from Brexit.’

TV

2 March 2019 9:00 am

Toys

2 March 2019 9:00 am

‘I don’t like the look of that chandelier.’

Only fools

2 March 2019 9:00 am

Twitter

2 March 2019 9:00 am

The new two-party system

Independent Group

2 March 2019 9:00 am

‘I mean, it’s not like you won an Oscar.’

Oscar

2 March 2019 9:00 am

‘I’m stockpiling my dinner in anticipation of the shortages ahead.’

Dinner

2 March 2019 9:00 am

‘Well, at least the daffodils are out.’

Daffodils

2 March 2019 9:00 am

MMR

2 March 2019 9:00 am

‘Due to Brexit shortages, we haven’t got a prayer.’

Prayers

2 March 2019 9:00 am

‘Due to Brexit shortages, we haven’t got a prayer.’

Church

2 March 2019 9:00 am

‘Are you a Leaver or a Remainer?’

Leaver

23 February 2019 9:00 am

‘My strategy is to go on losing until you come to your senses.’

Ladbrokes

23 February 2019 9:00 am

Naked

23 February 2019 9:00 am

‘I trust that none of us will be affected by these tough decisions.’

Tough decisions

23 February 2019 9:00 am

‘Well, it won’t be long now until nothing happens again.’

Brexit news

23 February 2019 9:00 am

Butterfly

23 February 2019 9:00 am

‘It’s the shortages and civil war that’s putting me off going back to Britain.’

Return

23 February 2019 9:00 am

‘Takes himself a bit seriously, that one.’

Penguin

23 February 2019 9:00 am

‘I’m in the mixed doubles.’

Tennis

23 February 2019 9:00 am

‘Least said, texted, tweeted, retweeted, Instagrammed, posted, uploaded, shared, blogged, vlogged and Snapchatted, soonest mended.’

Relate

16 February 2019 9:00 am