Stork

‘Kids today don’t know the meaning of the word “serene”.’
‘It’s the latest must-nick phone.’
‘It’s about this normally sized boy at a school full of weirdly thin people.’
‘In the old days he used to talk to me.’
‘I unwrapped the packaging and it was empty.’
‘I’ve left the children to their own devices.’
‘Oh, come on, Barry! A lettuce and a sliced loaf on the way back wasn’t too much to remember.’
‘You forgot to put the cocks forward.’
‘It’s about these stained-glass windows that were put in last week...’
‘I hate it when he uses emoticons.’
‘It’s been in my possession ever since I mugged the little old lady queuing up with it outside.’
Why, gentlemen, contrary to popular belief…’
‘It’s a horde of Anglo-Saxon coins.’