Darcy

Are my horses conspiring against me?

11 November 2017 9:00 am

When it comes to horses, troubles come in multitudes. Multitudes of lame legs. Gracie, the hunter pony, kicked things off…

It’s been a fraught, divisive year but there’s a glimmer of hope in Raynes Park

31 December 2016 9:00 am

What a fraught, divisive, infuriating sort of year it’s been. It started with me attempting to go on a blind…

How to save on vet's bills with gaffer tape

13 August 2016 9:00 am

The builder boyfriend colicked for a week after eating a falafel kebab as he and I sat up all night…

My horse is a grassoholic

6 August 2016 9:00 am

One look at Grace when I went to get her in from the field, and I knew she had eaten…

I am handmaiden to a foul-mouthed member of the royal family

21 May 2016 9:00 am

Some people call their house Dun Roamin’ to sum up their state of mind. After ten weeks ministering to my…

I am keeping the vet in work all on my own

26 March 2016 9:00 am

If you are the sort of person who enjoys tinkering with a classic car prone to myriad mechanical problems then…

My horse's race career hangs by a tendon

12 March 2016 9:00 am

‘Racing is 99.9 per cent disappointment,’ said the trainer philosophically, as I sat in the yard sipping coffee, waiting for…

Five little words that signify catastrophe

5 March 2016 9:00 am

Darcy trod on a screw. Five little words which, if Darcy was anything other than a thoroughbred horse, might signify…

Doing The Birdie Song on the back of a trainee racehorse

9 January 2016 9:00 am

‘Start at the back and try to pass as many horses as you can,’ said the trainer, as we stepped…

If there were bones sticking out, I’m out — midlife crisis or no midlife crisis

29 October 2015 9:00 am

‘This is a two Voltarol day,’ I thought, as I popped another pill and settled into the bath after Darcy’s…

From Darcy's first gallop, I was addicted to speed

17 October 2015 8:00 am

The young lad behind the counter of the betting shop looked at me askance. ‘This horse is 200–1.’ ‘Yes. I…

I rode my own racehorse and was changed for ever

10 October 2015 9:00 am

‘The last owner who tried to ride his own horse got tanked,’ said the trainer, looking up at me as…

I held my breath ready for the explosion. But no explosion came

21 March 2015 9:00 am

Darcy was obviously listening to every word I said. After we got back from the ride from hell, in which…

A lot of animal lovers go on about how great it is to rescue a horse from the racing industry

14 March 2015 9:00 am

All was going suspiciously well with the thoroughbred. I suppose it had to be the calm before the storm. I…

I’m opening the pony X-Files: mine may be psychic

24 January 2015 9:00 am

My ponies may be psychic. I think they are communicating with each other telepathically. And before you call me delusional,…

Rule number one for horse-owners: every accident that happens to a horse is a freak accident

10 January 2015 9:00 am

Every accident that happens to a horse is a freak accident. Rule number one. Once you grasp that as a…

I accidentally bought a racehorse. Would you like to join a syndicate?

29 March 2014 9:00 am

This horse-rearing business is not for the faint-hearted. I don’t know what I was thinking when I bought an eight-month-old…