Modern manners
Why I’ve changed my name
As someone who has recently discovered he is black, I have watched with incredulity the treatment doled out by the…
Dear Mary: What can I do about loud train snorers?
Q. At every drinks party one will be in mid-conversation with another guest and someone will walk over and loiter…
Dear Mary: How do I stop my wife from sabotaging my anecdotes?
Q. My wife and I have been married for 50 years. The marriage is basically sound but she has recently…
Are you a politically correct pervert?
The rise of ethical decadence
Dear Mary: My friend’s cooked breakfasts make me gag
Q. My fiancé and I spend many great weekends with another couple. I am a vegetarian and quite particular about…
My long gossipy letters to an old friend get just a few words in response
Q. An old friend shares aesthetic sensibilities and tastes in people. Hence we have sustained a highly enjoyable correspondence over…
Dear Mary: what do you say to neighbours who find you in your nightdress?
Q. I recently gave a jolly dinner for eight friends (some old, some rather famous), all home cooking, ending with…
Dear Mary: I had £300 stolen while at a friend’s house. Should I tell them?
Q. Following a small dinner last night in a private house, I got home to find £300 missing from my…
The neo-Marxist takeover of our universities
According to Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt, America’s universities have succumbed to ‘safetyism’, whereby students are protected from anything that…
Dear Mary: How can I weed out the party ‘flakes’?
Q. I invited four younger colleagues, all in their mid to late thirties, to go for a meal at a…
How should you deal with a competitive best friend?
Q. Good friends, who moved away from our city suburb a couple of years ago, retain a pied-à-terre the better…
Dear Mary: How do you deal with a monologuing fellow guest on board a yacht?
Q. A long-standing friend has an admirer of some means. He has invited her to borrow his fully staffed and…
Dear Mary: How does a Wimbledon ball girl deal with a disgusting player?
Q. I’ve accepted an invitation to stay in a small house party in France. My host hasn’t mentioned who else…
The #MeToo movement could be the saviour of sex
Forbidden flirting is more exciting
Dear Mary: What is the correct form when you find someone hiding from you in a cupboard?
Q. Is there a tactful way to ask people with whom you’ve been interacting on an almost daily basis over…
How to lay a trap for a suspected nosy parker
Q. My father has worked pro bono for many years on the advisory board of a certain company with a…
Dear Mary: How can I explain the cushion I must take everywhere to sit on?
Q. I have incurable, inoperable back pain that severely hinders my ability to sit and necessitates my taking a cushion…
Dear Mary: At a smart dinner party, is it wrong to ask for the wifi code?
Q. My husband and I are excited to have been invited to dinner by our most important neighbour. However our…
Dear Mary: our son’s future in-laws want to play social oneupmanship with us
Q. We were about to send off to the printers the invitation for our son’s wedding (we agreed to do…
The DPP's Alison Saunders was never much cop
An interesting development for our police force, then. In future they do not have to believe everything someone tells them,…
How to be a tourist in Europe
Avoid the crowds to discover Europe’s real cultural treasures
Dear Mary: How do we deal with our host’s sudden, terrifying rages?
Q. Along with five of my favourite people, I’ve been invited again to what should be an idyllic house party…
How Soho became so-so: Kettner’s Townhouse reviewed
Sometimes I fret that Soho House & Co is doing to this column what it does to London. It places…
Can you prove you’re not a racist?
After an essay in this month’s Prospect about literature and freedom of speech, it seems I was cited on Twitter…
How can I avoid power handshakes? They hurt my fragile knuckles
Q. How does one avoid power handshakes? Twenty-five years of wicket-keeping have left me with pathetically fragile knuckles, and each…
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