Modern manners
Snobbery in the age of social media
We like to think we have moved on from the age of snobbery. Judging others by birth or status, or…
Let’s put down the cameraphones and start living
It’s time to put down the cameras and start living
Why must I have a strong opinion about everything?
At a party earlier this summer, I was chatting to a man who asked me how I voted in last…
How can I stop my children renting out their flats and coming to stay?
Q. My children are very lucky in that we have bought them all flats. However, they are now renting out…
I survived a hen party — just
The hen party was seated at an outside restaurant table under the plane trees when I arrived. They sat with…
Is this Britain’s bossiest village?
‘What do you think it means?’ I asked the builder boyfriend as we stood in front of the sign. A…
Dear Mary: what’s the etiquette when security gates don’t just open?
Q. Is there an etiquette regarding security gates? My wife and I were invited to dinner by new neighbours who…
Being anti-smoking damages your mental health
I lit a cigarette in an open-air car park a couple of years ago as I was walking to the…
Why I can’t embrace the man-hug
The regrettable rise of the male embrace
Dear Mary: our friend’s new wife is a horror show. How can we avoid her?
Q. ‘Alfred’ is a friend of 30 years’ standing who has just married for the first time. Alfred retains all…
How can I get the buyer of a supermarket to notice my products?
Q. I import a range of very high-quality food products from Europe into the UK. They are regarded as the…
This dieting nonsense is hard to swallow
Eat good fresh food and ignore health bloggers and nutrition gurus
My husband keeps pointing out birds in our garden but I can’t see them
Q. Having retired, my husband is now an enthusiastic observer of the goldfinches, greenfinches and bullfinches in our garden. Their…
How to make the most of the social opportunities of the polling station
Q. I am a member of a well-known country house opera society, and I organise annual trips to performances for…
No need for excuses with party bores... it’s your duty to circulate
Q. Re getting away from bores at drinks parties (Dear Mary, 20 May). I take issue with the idea that…
Dear Mary: how do you excuse yourself from a dull conversation?
Q. My mother always told me that only boring people are bored. However she never got stuck at a drinks…
How do you reject someone but still spare their feelings?
Q. May I pass on a tip to readers wishing to reject a hopeful romantic partner without hurting their feelings?…
Do you know a flake fatale?
No shows. Repeat cancellations. And all excused by ‘flakiness’
What can be done about flakes who cancel at the last minute?
A friend of a friend hosted an engagement party in a London hotel. Invitations had gone out six weeks beforehand,…
Dear Mary: Am I obliged to regale my sponsor with anecdotes from my life?
Q. As an artist I’m indebted to my sponsor. I also like him, but not his habit of ringing me…
The importance of being trolled
In social media’s strange class system, victimhood belongs to those at the top
On landing, the pilot made an announcement so psychologically astute that I wanted to offer him a job
After landing at Gatwick, the plane taxied for five minutes or so and then came to a halt in the…
Dear Mary: How to coax a thank-you letter from your guests
Q. We had some people up from London for a very long weekend. We put on an extra-special do, costing…
The other sexual double-standard
Why is self-love for women so cool and feminist? For men it’s seen as sad and sleazy, points out Julie Burchill
Dear Mary: how can a dear friend be enjoined to plan his visits ahead?
Q. Living in a large house in the country within striking distance of a motorway, we get a lot of…
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