Rod Liddle

Rod Liddle

Rod Liddle is associate editor of The Spectator.

Euro 2020: It would have been a travesty if England didn’t win

England 2 (herringmuncher og, Citizen Kane) Denmark 1 (anotherherringmuncher) It was a penalty because the referee gave a penalty and VAR agreed. OK, Denmark? I wouldn’t have given it, mind. But then I would have given the absolutely stonewall penalty when Kane was clattered in the Danish penalty area a little earlier. Either way, it

Rod Liddle

Why the mangling of language matters

I thought that this week I would share with you a bunch of words and phrases which are currently overused and I find thoroughly annoying. The idea came to me after hearing a woman with the IQ of a soap dispenser speaking on Radio 4 about the godawful programme Love Island. During the course of

Rod Liddle

Is there anyone more irritating and stupid than Bobby Gillespie?

Grade: B– Is there anyone in rock music more irritating and stupid than Bobby Gillespie? The rawk’n’roll leather-jacketed self-mythologiser. The affected drawl. The shameless pillaging of every hard rock album made between 1969 and 1972, but especially the Faces and the Rolling Stones. The moronic lyrics. The hard-left radical chic posturing and condemnations of Israel

Euro 2020: Don’t underestimate the Danes

Italy: 1 (moped riding infant) Spain: 1 (swarthy bull-taunting thug) Spain are not terribly good at penalty shoot-outs. Hell, even England beat them in 1996. And so they lost a match they had dominated pretty much from start to finish. If you remember, I tipped Italy to win this tournament right at the outset —

Euro 2020: Another night of terror beckons

The excellent manager of Ukraine, Andriy Shevchenko, is a member of the SDP. The Ukrainian version, of course, but very similar to our own, given that they never win anything. Andriy himself stood for parliament but lost – remarkable as he is the most famous footballer in his country’s history. This makes me like him.

The political baggage of moving house

We are currently house-hunting — please let me know if you have one going spare. We are looking for a home in the north-east of England in any constituency which was once solidly Labour and is now in the talons of a brutally right-wing Conservative MP — this is my wife’s stipulation and I find

Euro 2020: I love Raheem Sterling

England: 2 (Sterling, Kane)  Germany: 0 (nobody at all) Well, that lifted the spirits a bit. And coming after the French being evicted by their alpine neighbours, it has meant quite a lot of alcoholic celebration in Liddle Towers. A deserved victory over Germany — who, contrary to popular belief, we do beat quite often.

Euro 2020: Why I hate VAR

Austria 1 (Arnautovic)  Italy 0 The laws in my universe differ from those imposed by Fifa. Austria go through, having weathered a difficult first half and then taken control of the game and in the 64th minute won it through a beautiful header from their querulous star, Marko Arnautovic. It was a deserved victory. The point

Euro 2020: Wales out-pluckied by Denmark

Wales 0 Denmark 4 (blonde self-satisfied young men 4) The battle between the neutrals’ favourites. Brave Denmark, with their stricken player and heroic travails against the evil Russkies. Wales – a small nation, although not so small as several others in this contest – magnificent conquerors of the Erdogan Caliphate. Here, though, in Amsterdam, they

Keir Starmer’s days are numbered

I think Keir’s had it. This may not discomfort you terribly, I know. Still less the fact that Labour will rummage around in its idiot box and find someone even more un-electable to lead the party. Cheeky Nandos perhaps, or Angela No-Brayner. Someone mental for whom patriotism is an anathema and who finds it difficult

Euro 2020: England shouldn’t get too excited

Ingerlund: 1 (Sterling) Czechia: 0 —
Croatia: 3 (people with name ending in ‘itch’)
Scotland 1 (Jimmy) A little better, solely because of changes in the team largely enforced upon old Horseface. Jack Grealish started because the hitherto largely ineffective Phil Foden is carrying a booking. Arsenal’s starlet Bukayo Saka was in the team largely because Mason

Euro 2020: Why England always lose in the end

I am sitting by my TV waiting for the start of England vs Czechia. Why do I sign up for this inevitable disappointment, check my name on the list of the 40 million who think we’re due a trophy, sit down with cheap snacks and then fall asleep? The misery of it. For 55 years. As

Euro 2020: The joy of Dutch names

Netherlands: 3 Macedonia: 0 — Ukraine: 0 Austria 1  What’s your favourite name for a Dutch politician? I always liked Rita Verdonk, because she sounds like a bit of a goer, I don’t know why. But then there’s Wim Kok — the fleeting dream of a penis. How about Lewd Rubbers? Or was it Rude Lubbers?

Euro 2021: Even Italy’s reserves are looking good

Italy 1 (Peroni, or Ciao, or something) Wales 0 Switzerland 3 (Albanian Gnome 2, Bosnian Gnome) Turkey 1 (Who cares?) Gallant Wales got themselves outplayed by Italy’s reserves but still go through to the next round, courtesy of not being thumped as badly as the Swiss were when they played Italy’s first team. Switzerland will

Euros 2021: England are easily the most boring side in the tournament

England 0 Scotland 0 Hungary 1 (Fiola) France 1 (Griezmann) It is remarkable how Southgate has sucked the life out of such talented players over the last two or three years The wonderful Hungarians almost took my mind off England’s lamentable performance last night and the usual stupid, self-serving, excuses from Southgate. England are easily

On England versus Scotland

I found this shaggy dog story on the MillwallOnline site, posted by a mate called Life With The Lions. ‘It is just before the start of the Scotland vs England game, at Wembley stadium, in the Euro Championships 2020. Harry Kane goes into the England dressing room to find all his teammates looking a bit

Euros 2021: Turkey deserved to lose to Wales

Turkey 0 Wales 2 (Ramsey 45, Roberts 90+5) Apologies to those of you who have been expecting my annual list of the world’s most loathsome countries, which I usually publish at this time of year. Various stuff has got in the way – not least this tournament. Once it is over I’ll get down to

Rod Liddle

A breath of fresh airwaves

A couple of decades back the Radio Society asked me to moderate a debate for its summer festival. ‘Between who?’ I asked them and was delighted when they replied: ‘It’s entirely up to you.’ I chose the charismatic hook-handed Muslim cleric Sheikh Abu Hamza al-Masri and the then leader of the British National party, Nick