Spectator competition winners: poets bemoan a problematic appendage

In Competition No. 3246, you were invited to submit a poem in the style of the poet of your choice about a problematic appendage.

Taking pride of place alongside Philip Larkin’s troublesome penis were Heaney’s big toe, Shelley’s belly, and a series of noses, among them Mike Morrison/Ogden Nash:

This nose/conk/beak/hooter/schnozzle Has brought me nothing but anguish and schemozzle…

An honourable mention also goes to Alex Steelsmith/Edward FitzGerald:

The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ, Moves on – and there’s the Rub; it doesn’t quit.