Oh dear. Those texts. A bit awkward isn’t it? At PMQs, Sir Keir quizzed Boris about the exchanges between James Dyson and the PM which have been leaked by a saboteur.
Boris was rattled. The texts reveal a side of his nature that he wants kept secret. The smug and rather puerile grandee luxuriating in his power and status. Look at me. Marvel at my cleverness. Watch as I solve your problems with my fingertips. See how ministers leap at my command.
This will permanently damage a man who likes to pose as the people’s servant, toiling night and day to restore the fortunes of a once mighty kingdom.
Sir Keir did well. Not brilliantly. ‘Favours, privileged access, tax breaks for mates,’ he said, ‘This is the main currency in this Conservative government.’
What a strange performance from Boris. He’s exceptionally touchy about his image
Boris used the public safety defence. He said the texts showed him acting swiftly and decisively to enable Dyson, the vacuum maestro, to become Britain’s ventilator champion. He saved lives.
Sir Keir asked if bankrupt businessmen seeking help could have access to the PM’s phone number. Boris angrily recited the schemes his government has offered to the self-employed. Sir Keir then tried to echo the famous Tony Blair hammer-blow – ‘weak, weak, weak’ – directed at John Major by the former Labour leader.
‘Sleaze! Sleaze! Sleaze!’ said Sir Keir. Which is less effective. The consonants aren’t hard enough. And when Boris defended his record on nurses’ pay, Sir Keir snapped back:
‘Nurses didn’t get a text from the Prime Minister, they got a kick in the teeth.’
Quite a nasty image. Sir Keir should elevate his tone a bit.
Ian Blackford of the SNP gleefully joined in the attack. Talking via Zoom from his stately home in the Hebrides he deployed his usual rhetoric about Tory corruption, and he demanded that the Prime Minister publish all the communications forthwith. Immediately. This very day! He loves ordering the PM to do things instantly, as if Boris were one of his under-employed gardeners.
‘I’m happy to share all the details with the house as I have with my officials,’ said Boris. Full disclosure is his only option. Blackford resented this. ‘Publish them,’ he snarled. ‘Let’s have transparency.’
He then asked for a public inquiry but he was interrupted by an escaped wolfhound barking crazily on the croquet lawn. Thrown off rhythm, he glanced towards his stained-glass windows and then ploughed on with his script. But it was too late. He’d been upstaged by a stray mongrel. Boris couldn’t help it. ‘I thought his dog made a better contribution than he did.’
Labour’s Anna McMorrin had a crack as well. She said the texts had made her feel ashamed of her country. The next question, from Andrew Rosindell, mentioned Ronald Reagan’s support for Britain during the Falklands war. Boris saw a chance for a bit of freelance Labour-bashing.
‘Did you notice,’ he said, jabbing an angry finger at the opposition benches. ‘They recoiled at the recapture of the Falklands. And we just heard an honourable member say she was ashamed of her country.’
No she didn’t. She said, ‘I’m ashamed on behalf of this country.’
What a strange performance from Boris. He’s exceptionally touchy about his image which has now acquired some unpalatable new details. He seemed wounded, angry and bitter at the despatch box. His rhetoric was exceptionally aggressive and belligerent. It’s not well known that he has a furious temper. Downing Street will be rocking for days.
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