Confessions of a speeding granny

I suppose it was going to happen. But not inevitably. After 66 years behind the wheel, I’ve finally gotten a speeding ticket. In France.

During those years, I’ve put the pedal to the metal in an Alfa Romeo (Spider Veloce with Weber carburetors), a zippy MG (my mother’s), a 375HP Corvette Stingray (my first husband’s), occasionally an e-type belonging to a friend and a swanky but stodgy Mercedes. A French camera finally caught up with me as I was ripping up a Burgundian country road from Nolay to Autun, going 105 kph in a 90 kph zone in my new (to me) Mini Cooper.

My grandchildren have begun to love ‘Puddle’ as much as (or more than) they love me. They’re especially amused by the name I’ve given the little car, short for ‘puddle jumper’: in French slang, it refers to a small airplane. It’s apt in this case, as I was flying in ‘Puddle’ to get back to Meursault to fetch them from school after buying an armoire for the little house that I’ve bought in a village of 2,000 residents and 80 vineyards.

Because of the exceptional summer heat and recent torrential rains, Burgundian vineyards have yielded a record vendange. Many vineyards have left grapes on the vines – there aren’t enough barrels and vats to hold the overflow. (Exceptionally juicy grapes are producing the best Chardonnays and Pinot Noirs since 2017.) My daughter and son-in-law both work for wineries, so my granny job this month has been to help them by transporting their seven-year-old and ten-year-old to school and activities.

I’ve come full circle from buying my first car at 16 for $75. The lovingly used, British racing green with Beige leather seats Morris Minor was owned by a couple in Weston, Connecticut, who’d bought the little gem in the U.K. during their 1950 honeymoon. The ‘Moggy’, as it was affectionately called, was designed by Alec Issigonis, who would go on to design the Mini Cooper. The car was a very popular and profitable exercise in cramming the most seating into the smallest-sized body. It had a 918cc engine that could produce a whopping 27HP and hit a top speed of 64 mph. Remarkably frugal, the ‘Moggy’ could rack up to 40 miles per gallon – much appreciated by post-war Brits. The little gem was introduced in 1948 and produced until 1959, when the Mini Cooper appeared to satisfy a public that had fallen in love with the Morris Minor’s qualities and cuteness.

My son-in-law, Brian, found ‘Puddle’ on the internet after I moved last Spring to Meursault from Montecito, following the death of my husband of 50 years. I am not la Veuve Clicquot and wanted a small, low-maintenance car that my grandchildren would love to ride in and that I could afford and park easily.

As such, ‘Puddle’ did not come cheap: used but good Minis are highly desirable in France, where parking is a challenge and gas is €7.50 a gallon. But it’s been a perfect match for me here. French country roads are made for a fast, little buggy that doesn’t know it has a granny behind the wheel.

My grandchildren think it’s a hoot that their mamie (granny in French) has just gotten her first speeding ticket in France. Not so much their parents.