Dear Mary… | 22 July 2006

Q. I have a small problem with vanity. I have made a successful application to join a specialist library where I can work in peace almost every day of the week and have access to an unrivalled set of references on my subject. I am aware that this is a privilege. However, because of the rarity of the collection, members are required to carry at all times photo ID, supplied by the library itself using its own machine to take the photograph. These famously unflattering photographs are sealed permanently into tamper-proof lamination, and updated only every seven years. A friend who is a member even says that having to brandish an off-putting photograph of herself every day (and hide the photograph each time she opens her wallet outside the library) has contributed to her low-grade depression and I dread the same thing happening to me. I do not look good in photographs unless the lighting is right, which it won’t be, so what can I do, Mary? I must shortly present myself at the photo-desk.
R.G., London NW1

A. Simply find a photograph of yourself which you do like. Have this blown up on a colour copier to life-size and spraymount it on to cardboard. Holding this next to your own face to confirm the likeness, ask the staff at the library to take a photo of the photograph instead of one of your face.

Q. I have a holiday job in a bookshop. I work alongside a girl of my age who seems to share many of my interests and with whom I have had many excellent conversations. This girl is also lovely and I would like her to be my girlfriend. The trouble is that she already has a boyfriend and she is a loyal sort of person but, to put it bluntly, both in appearance and intellectually he is a poor man’s version of me.