Q. I understand that the man who organised the Debs’ List is no longer with us, so I wonder if you can advise me how I could round up some of the right sort of young for a drinks party? My niece, who has been at school in Los Angeles, is about to fly into London to stay with me here for a gap year but very few of my friends have male offspring of the appropriate age, namely 18-25. Money is no object, and neither is pride. Just tell me: how does one find them these days?
— Name withheld, London SW3
A. In the absence of Tatler’s social editor, the late Peter Townend, who compiled the list, you should go straight to the fountainhead of junior civility (and brilliance), namely London’s Bright Young Things Tuition in Yarmouth Place, Mayfair (020 7723 0506). BYT tutors can be hired for £58 an hour and most are Oxbridge graduates. Be straightforward as you order your job lot of, say, ten male tutors for two hours, and admit from the start that you will not be requiring them to do any traditional teaching but more to display their interpersonal skills. To this end your preference is for inspiring conversationalists or those with good senses of humour. BYT tutors are used to being paid just to hang around, as they often find, on turning up to deliver the tuition, that their privileged charges are still lolling in bed.
Q. Parking is very difficult near my house in London as there are only three meters and the rest are for resident’s permit holders only. Time and again friends who are coming to lunch or to stay ring me from their mobiles saying they are sitting in one of the spaces but have no change and can I possibly rush outside with pound coins — usually they want eight, to enable a two-hour stay. Neither of us wants them to waste time queuing at a bank to get change so they can pay me back, and they always promise to repay me next time — but, Mary, they are only human, and they forget. I am now owed a small fortune. Suggestions?
— A.C., London w8
A. When summoned to the meter, bring out ten £1 coins and two £20 notes. Insist that your guest borrows £50, not £8. Explain, in unrecriminatory tones, that it is much easier for everyone to remember a larger sum. Then write on a sticky post-it note ‘IOU £50’ and the name of the debtor. Affix it to an eye-catching surface. This system invariably triggers prompt repayment.
Q. Last week’s solution about how to shut up people chatting throughout tv programmes was too convoluted. You simply turn on the subtitles yourself, and this gives the message, loud and clear, so to speak, that their commentary is unwelcome.
— A.C., London w8
A. Thank you for this tip.
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