This autobiography written by a horse that is not as offputting as it sounds

Banks only lend money to those who can prove they don’t need it and it has not been a happy few months for racing with one trainer after another giving up the unequal struggle and shutting the stable doors. The only thing that could make it worse for many small yards is an election victory in May for the Greens: they have vowed, if they win power, to outlaw zoos and circuses and a ban on horseracing clearly would not be far behind.

I have had my problems too. Gremlins from outer space this week seized control of my laptop and have locked away my racing notes behind an immovable screen that resembles an early Jackson Pollock. Mrs Oakley’s laptop, pressed into service instead, contains some excellent recipes and penetrating literary notes but not a single quote obtained at Cheltenham or Sandown.

I have diverted to three new publications on jockeys, racecourses and one remarkable horse. The Spotted Wonder (published by AuthorHouse and actually the work of an experienced racing author) is presented as written by The Tetrarch, the spotted grey ‘rocking horse’ horse who was known by that nickname. It tells the story of the fastest two-year-old there has ever been literally from the horse’s mouth. The Tetrarch was unbeaten in seven races as a juvenile and was made winter favourite for the Derby but was injured and never raced again. I feared the concept could be mawkish or twee but the horse’s-eye view of being weaned, trained and taken to the racecourse works surprisingly well. Behind the tapes for his first race The Tetrarch reflects, ‘The mass of jig-jogging horseflesh, the garish colours of the silks and the high-pitched chatter of the jockeys were an assault on our senses completely unknown until this moment.