After weeks of suspense, the big day has finally arrived. The Scottish government has arranged a meeting in Inverness with quango and industry bosses to discuss what is apparently one of the most pressing issues facing Scotland. Not the future of the oil and gas industry, not the failures in the country’s rural health service and not even the dualling of Scotland’s most dangerous road, which runs by the city. No – not content with bashing Westminster, the SNP government has declared a war on, er, seagulls.
Ahead of today’s ‘serious’ meeting, the Scottish government dedicated £100,000 to controlling the increasingly mischievous bird population to cover gull deterrents – like lasers, roof spikes and anti-nesting nets. It all sounds rather extreme, but even that hasn’t placated anti-gull activists. Anger grew after wildlife agency NatureScot reduced the frequency it handed out licences to remove gull eggs before chicks hatched – due to a ‘serious decline’ in the population.
Local frustrations about the brazen birds have now made their way to the upper echelons of Scottish politics, with the pesky creatures prompting heated outbursts from politicians across the Chamber. Mr S would encourage readers not to underestimate the power these sea-faring birds can wield – the debate has even cost one minister his job.
Back in May, former-SNP-turned-independent MSP Fergus Ewing signalled he’d had enough of urban politicians refusing to take the gull problem seriously. ‘When is the Scottish government going to get a grip?’ he raged at his bemused Holyrood colleagues.
Then the deputy leader of the Scottish Conservatives, Rachael Hamilton MSP, threw her hat into the ring – accusing the SNP of ‘refusing to listen’ to seagull concerns and declaring the matter a ‘serious growing health issue’. Not that the Scottish government’s announcement of a meeting about it all quelled fears. The exclusive guest list got ex-Tory leader Douglas Ross in a tizzy, with the MSP taking to Twitter to fume about the ‘SNP’s secretive seagull summit’ after he didn’t receive an invite.
Things escalated last week when then-parliamentary business minister Jamie Hepburn was accused of ‘physically and verbally’ assaulting Ross over – you guessed it – seagulls. Hepburn admitted he had used some ‘choice words’ in his row with Ross, before resigning from government on Friday. You couldn’t make it up, eh?
And while today quango bosses are meeting with SNP agriculture minister Jim Fairlie to figure out how to get on top of the problem, politicians continue to seethe. Ewing slammed the meet as a ‘non-event’, before comparing gulls to ‘young thugs that smash you in the head’ – while Ross has branded the six-figure gull-tackling fund as ‘pitiful’.
Well, when the seagulls follow the trawler, it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea…
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