My mother loved to show films for special occasions with an old-fashioned home screen and a cine camera. All the chairs set up like a cinema. The Lady Vanishes at Christmas, Oh, Mr Porter for New Year and assorted Agatha Christies for birthdays.
For my tenth birthday, I asked for a cowboy film. I was a little obsessed with cowboys — the drama, the heroism, the good vs bad. As my guests sat down and the movie flickered to life I saw that not only had my mother found a cowboy movie but miraculously the hero was a cowgirl. Annie Get Your Gun. I had got my wish…until she opened her mouth.
It was a musical and of course, with a girl as the lead, it would have to be a musical. It ended with Annie, by far and away the best shot on set, deliberately losing a contest to a cowboy, because it was ‘better to win the man than the competition’. I was horrified. My mother had only been trying to send me a gender-correct message to her tricky ten-year-old tomboy, but I was incensed. How could anyone deliberately lose or be thought a heroine for losing? My wish today is for my daughter to know that nothing should stand in the way of her ambition. Not only should she try her best to win, but never imagine it was chivalrous or feminine to stand aside for a man. There should be no need to call a girl a tomboy. Actually, best of all I would like her never to need role models. Also, could we get Benedict Cumberbatch to do the male version? Andie Get Your Gun.
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