Spectator competition winners: Halloween/ Occurs between/ The end of October/ And the start of not being sober: calendrical clerihews

Your latest challenge was to compose clerihews about any date in the calendar. I was very grateful recently to eagle-eyed John O’Byrne, who drew my attention to the fact that the closing date for Competition No. 3125 was not 20 November, as printed in the magazine, but 13 November. Even better, he did it in clerihew form:

The 20 November, Now that I remember, Is the closing date not for 3125 but 3126 — So herewith my quick fix!

Clerihews always go down well and this challenge netted a whopping entry. New Year’s Day, Shakespeare’s birthday, 9/11, the Fourth of July, Black Friday, April Fool’s Day, 5 November, Burns Night and Labour Day all featured, and thanks to Dominica Roberts I now know that the feast day of Saints Cyril and Methodius falls on 14 February. The winners below earn £8 per clerihew printed.

Adrian Fry 12th December: a chance to disMember those remoaning contrarians masquerading as parliamentarians.

Brian Allgar On April 2nd, Trump claimed to be the greatest President in history, but people reckoned His ludicrous boast would have been more Appropriate the day before.

Chris O’Carroll On 11 September, 2001, We barely knew what had begun, And we’re still not sure what will ensue Before some of us die or all of us do.

February 14 Has long been A day for pursuing erotic connection Via chocolate confection.

Robert Schechter On the Ides of March beneath an arch the words of the soothsayer proved valid upon the murder of the man for whom they named my favourite salad.

Brian Murdoch April 23rd this year Would have been an occasion to cheer, If Shakespeare were still alive. He’d be 455.

Bill Greenwell 22nd March 1963 Is the date of the Beatles’ first LP: What a sexual thrill! — But not for poor Phil.

Nick MacKinnon June the 21st is the summer solstice. Druids sacrifice the bourgeoisie on the A303.

Basil Ransome-Davies Halloween Occurs between The end of October And the start of not being sober.

Alan Millard Adolf Hitler Fought Churchill who was, by an inch or so, littler. But Hitler, in 1945, was defeated in a rout Since he, though taller than smaller Churchill, was not as stout.

W.J. Webster Burns Night Is not a Sassenach’s delight: Unless your bag is Haggis.

Martin Parker April the 1st gives an unmissable chance for those with a sadistic thirst for playing witless jokes on hapless folks.

Alanna Blake Christmas Eve Is the night for make-believe When you are taken in because Your kids pretend to think you are really Santa Claus.

Roger Slater On July 20th, 1969, Neil Armstrong stepped on the moon and delivered his famous line. The whole world watched as the line got botched.

Carolyn Beckingham The 1st of May Is international Labour Day, When those who wish to riot Tend to try it.

Nicholas Hodgson Is August 12th glorious Or notorious, As the moors become a slaughterhouse For grouse?

David Shields On 17 March The Irish rarely parch: Even Yeats on Innisfree Would not go Guinness-free.

J.M.L Harris The fourteenth of May Has nothing to distinguish it from any other day, And so it is time To commemorate it in rhyme.

Your next challenge is to submit Shakespeare’s newly discovered ‘Woeful ballad to his mistress’ eyebrows’. Please email entries of up to 16 lines to lucy@spectator.co.uk by midday on 27 November.