Mary Killen Mary Killen

Dear Mary: How can I avoid being bored by my quarantine pasta diet?

Q. We recently welcomed an 18-year-old au pair into our young family, and I’m pleased that she has settled in quickly and feels comfortable around us. However, last Saturday she walked into the kitchen for breakfast wearing the tiniest pair of pyjama shorts I’ve ever seen — almost half her bottom was on display. My husband was quite bewildered and says I must ask her to wear something with more coverage. She is quite a proud person and I don’t want to create any bad vibes, and after all, Saturdays are her day off, so I feel she is free to do as she likes. But am I being too lenient? How should I address this with her?
— S.C., Austria

A. Unfortunately women below a certain age regard under-dressing as an equality issue and have had a compassion bypass regarding the lust they might excite. Also there is little you can say without implicating your husband as a pervert. Claim to have had your kitchen chairs polished or varnished in something which has triggered rashes in other bare-legged visitors and hand her a sarong to wear while breakfasting.

Q. I am a Tibetan spaniel owner. While out recently without my dog, I spotted the doppelganger of my previous bitch who died four years ago. I was struck with nostalgia and immediately accosted the owner. He eyed me with suspicion until I said: ‘Is that a Tibetan spaniel?’ At this point we launched into an enthusiastic exchange on the superiority of the breed. After I had taken some snaps, I was desperate to say: ‘What’s your name and address? Our dogs must meet and bond.’ But I feared he might find this slightly odd — or, worse, might presume I fancied him.

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