Laurie Graham

Why are so many of my elderly friends in denial about death?

Here’s a cheerful thought: we are all going to die. Some of my friends are under 70 but most, now I come to count them, are not. We have had our Biblical allocation of three score years and ten and then some. So imagine my surprise to discover how unprepared many of my senior crowd are for death. Last Will and Testament not signed, sock drawer not tidied, unfulfilled ambitions regretfully piled up and, frankly, panic.

This is not to minimise the horrors of a coronavirus death. It is, by all accounts, a struggle, literally, to the last breath. But even in healthier times our end days are likely to be attended by distress and indignities. It’s granted to very few of us to fall peacefully and permanently asleep in an armchair after a good lunch with our loved ones.

Sooner or later something gets us, and after a billion beats is it any wonder the heart comes to a full stop? Even a Toyota engine doesn’t last forever.

You might expect those of us who are over the hill to be philosophical about our chances in the current epidemic. That our attitude would be, ‘I’ve seen my grandchildren into the world and generally had a wonderful time, so if this one has my name on it, so be it.’ But no. Several seniors known to me regard this latest threat to their continued existence as an impertinence.

They are the people who say ‘if I die’ not ‘when I die’. And because they are wedded to the idea of their immortality, they leave undone what they ought to have done: mended fences and enjoyed each day as a bonus not an entitlement. It’s a delicate matter to confront a friend’s delusions.

Already a subscriber? Log in

Keep reading with a free trial

Subscribe and get your first month of online and app access for free. After that it’s just £1 a week.

There’s no commitment, you can cancel any time.

Or

Unlock more articles

REGISTER

Comments

Don't miss out

Join the conversation with other Spectator readers. Subscribe to leave a comment.

Already a subscriber? Log in