Andy Shaw

A handy guide to flags

  • From Spectator Life

The Union Jack is back. No TV interview with a government minister is complete without a flag and their departments have been ordered to hoist them above their offices. Soon our country will look like a never-ending Golden Jubilee street party, but with neither refreshments nor festivities.

We’d all like a street party, but many are embarrassed by constant flag waving, especially when the flag in question is the Union Jack. The students of London’s Pimlico Academy were so put out by the idea of flags that they even went as far as to argue that the Union Jack flying outside their school was an emblem of racism, demanding that the headteacher took it down. Since it’s now the job of pupils and protestors to decide school rules, he duly granted them their wishes.

It seems some flags are more palatable than others. If you don’t like the Union Jack, there are plenty of others to choose from:

The Flag of Europe

The EU flag is ideal for anyone who no longer feels themselves to be ‘British’. Even though you may not read European newspapers and you were never very good at languages, your true allegiance belongs to the land of open borders and vaccine factory raids. If you still dream about living in a land where the government is safely kept away from its people, hang an EU flag on your bedroom wall. Last year, that well known bastion of Europhilia, Hounslow council, vowed to fly the EU flag indefinitely.

The Cuban flag

Flying the Cuban flag marks you out as a ‘good socialist’, but also a fun-loving one who enjoys dancing to Mambo and drinking rum on a sun-drenched beach – far removed from the likes of Stalin. It is favoured by those in late middle-age who like a good Caribbean holiday, but wish they had been a bit more like Che Guevara in their youth.

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