Mark Mason

A lifesaver’s lament

I rescued a drowning man. He didn’t thank me

It was about as English as you can get. I saved a man from drowning, and ended up annoyed that he didn’t say thank you.

The setting was a disused railway walk near the meadows of my local market town in Suffolk. I was out with my dog, enjoying one of autumn’s last sunny days. The walk is heavily lined on both sides with trees, and shielded from view of what few houses there are nearby. From the left, where a river runs alongside the track (again, shielded by the trees) came cries of ‘Help! Help me! PLEASE help!’ At first I assumed some kids were messing about. But after a couple more shouts it was clear this was genuine.

Pushing my way through the trees and bushes I reached the river, which at that point is about 80 ft wide. In the middle was an overturned canoe, with a man’s head, shoulders and arms appearing from underneath it. His legs were obviously stuck inside, and he was just — only just — managing to cling on to the canoe’s far side, thereby stopping himself from going under.

‘It’s OK,’ I yelled. ‘I’m here.’ Despite the rather Hollywood note this struck, I knew instantly that here was the ideal ‘heroism required’ situation: the bloke would definitely die if I didn’t help (no way his strength could last for more than a minute or two), but there was absolutely no risk at all to my own safety. I had time to take off my trainers, so making the swimming easier. And indeed my jeans — no point ruining my smartphone or losing my wallet. Socks and T-shirt followed, and so it was that my overriding thought as I prepared to rescue a man from certain and imminent death was: ‘Thank God I put on a decent pair of pants today.

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