How is Britain seen by outsiders? What marks us out? Humour, self-deprecation, our changing weather, frequent cups of tea. But there’s something else that foreigners say after a spell here: the UK is a place where couples without children worry about where their unconceived children will go to school. As a Scot, I used to think this a bizarre English affectation — until my eldest son announced he’d like to join his friends and take the Eleven Plus set by grammars and private schools. Would I let him?
Only then did it dawn on me why prep schools get their name: to prep children for this specific exam. To borrow a line from Alan Bennett’s The History Boys: ‘[The] boys and girls against whom you are to compete have been groomed like thoroughbreds for this one particular race.’ Anyone can compete. Should you do so? Parents and children can make their own decision. But if you do, a crash course awaits in the secret rules of English life. What follows is what I wish someone had told me.
Check your privilege
White middle-class Brits can have a fairly relaxed ‘let children be children’ approach to homework. Other cultures do not. My personal view is that the middle classes have a lot to learn from immigrant parents who, quite rightly, see time spent teaching their children as an investment. About a quarter of all children in Britain have foreign-born parents: in London, it’s more than half. Some parents talk about the Eleven Plus as being the Olympic Games for 11-year-olds — you’re up against the world’s brightest and the dads who say: ‘After homework you can play… the piano.’ Children tend to feel exhilarated by the competition; the parents terrified. The Eleven Plus is a global race.
It’s never too early for basic planning
Different schools require different levels of parental prep for the Eleven Plus.
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