A place of refuge

There seems to be some question as to whether Saddam Hussein’s two daughters, Raghad and Rana, and their nine children aged between seven and 16 will be allowed to apply for asylum in Britain. Their sponsor is a cousin of the family, a Mr Izzi (Izzard)-Din Mohammed Hassan al-Majid.

This gentleman, who is a businessman, apparently lives in a bungalow in Leeds. If Saddam’s family were granted asylum here they would live on a council estate in the town at the taxpayer’s expense. It transpires that Saddam’s former wife would like to join them. Should she manage to smuggle herself into the country, the government has admitted that it might find it hard to get her out.

It is difficult to imagine the Hussein family living blissfully on a council estate in Leeds, even if it is free. After the highlife of Baghdad, Leeds would seem pretty tame. So, as a patriot who wishes to ease the burden of the British taxpayer, I have an alternative suggestion.

Why don’t the Husseins come and live in my house in St John’s Wood? (If they are not here already, for lately I have been hearing strange noises emanating from the attic at night.) At present we harbour two Hungarians, Katalin and Anna Maria. But it is easier for the family of a murderous tyrant to get into this country and stay here than it is for two peaceful Hungarians to acquire a permanent work permit, even though Hungary will be joining the EU next May.

There is a big Muslim community in St John’s Wood and a huge mosque. I am sure Rana and Raghad could be given suitable jobs to do around the house. Raghad should be good with a rag.