A song for the crunch

It’s bloody depressing being a columnist right now. The meltdown is easily the most important topic, but how many variants of this can you produce before readers give up? Or think they have read it all before? I was going to give you the latest economic horror story of our L-shaped downturn but instead I’ll give it a rest and you this song by Noel Coward. As Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged is a book for our times, so this is its song; it has been playing non-stop in my head these last few days. It pretty much sums everything up. Can CoffeeHousers think of an extra verse for the credit crunch?

They’re out of sorts in Sunderland And terribly cross in Kent, They’re dull in Hull And the Isle of Mull Is seething with discontent, They’re nervous in Northumberland And Devon is down the drain, They’re filled with wrath On the firth of Forth And sullen on Salisbury Plain, In Dublin they’re depressed, lads, Maybe because they’re Celts For Drake is going West, lads, And so is everyone else. Hurray-hurray-hurray! Misery’s here to stay. CHORUS There are bad times just around the corner, There are dark clouds hurtling through the sky And it’s no good whining About a silver lining For we know from experience that they won’t roll by, With a scowl and a frown We’ll keep our peckers down And prepare for depression and doom and dread, We’re going to unpack our troubles from our old kit bag And wait until we drop down dead.