To the Commons, where last night the cream of Westminster’s literary elite were sipping chablis and comparing book sales. Rising stars and old faces were among those turning out at the parliamentary book awards as Ed Balls, Mark Carney, Jess Phillips and Andrew Mitchell were among the political giants rubbing shoulders. The star of the night though was undoubtedly Sir Alan Duncan, back in parliament after two years away having, for some reason, not been given a peerage in the recent honours’ list.
The former MP is now trying to do for Bloomsbury what he did for Westminster by applying his political talents to the written word, having penned a series of remarkably bitter diaries last year that boasted more poison-penmanship than Jessica Mitford. Duncan, who was up for the award for ‘best biography, memoir or autobiography by a parliamentarian’ was spotted beaming with pride as the speeches began, standing near the front and clutching a copy of a pre-written acceptance speech.
Host Matt Chorley of Times Radio kicked things off by praising the awards as a post-Covid chance to once again ‘stand around and drink warm white wine paid for by who knows who.’ Chorley told the audience that: ‘the beauty of political books is that you either write them on the way up or on the way down… Alan will tell you whether or not he’s on the way up.’ As laughter rang out, one ex-colleague of Duncan remarked drily: ‘I’m sure we all know which way that is.’
The award was chosen by parliamentarians themselves which meant, as one MP put it to Mr S, if you didn’t win ‘we hate you.’ Former Chief Whip Andrew Mitchell was declared the victor, an announcement which prompted Duncan to seemingly disappear from the room. Mitchell, who backed Boris Johnson for leader in 2019 but has since called for him to resign, told attendees that: ‘There’s a chapter in my book entitled “Boris: my role in his ascent” – if I was going to write another book I would call it “Boris: my role in his descent”.’ He added:
‘I was thinking I might write another book, a steamy bonkbuster in the hope that I might become the Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport but unfortunately my wife said if I did she would have to re-edit all of the sex scenes.
Penny Mordaunt, the winner of the best non-fiction book, declined to sing her own praises for fear of breaching the ministerial code, while former Bank of England governor Mark Carney won best political book by a non-parliamentarian, beating out Labour frontbencher Jess Phillips.
Carney, accepting the prize, ignored his rival’s good-natured joshing about his book, telling the audience that ‘some parliamentarians – not Jess Phillips I notice – did read it.’ Asked if he too would consider writing his memoirs, actor-turned-politician Giles Watling replied darkly to Mr S: ‘Too many people would have to die first.’ Gosh.
Steerpike just wonders how many of the books on display will be in the bookshop bargain bin come conference time this autumn.
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