A new poll was released yesterday showing 50 per cent of Americans don't think President Biden is in good health. Turns out: they are right, with the country's oldest ever Commander-in-Chief today forced to transfer power to his deputy while he is under anesthesia getting a colonoscopy. That means, for a 'brief period of time' the leader of the free world will be none other than Biden's bungling running-mate... Vice President Kamala Harris.
Officials have been keen to stress that the arrangement has a precedent from the Bush-Cheney years when the former underwent the same operation in 2002 and 2007. Donald Trump meanwhile was alleged to have refused anesthesia when he had the same procedure in 2019, so concerned was he about transferring power to Mike Pence – perhaps understandably in light of the establishment's efforts to undermine him. White House spin-doctor Jen Psaki told reporters today: 'The Vice President will work from her office in the West Wing during this time' – to the joy of a nation, no doubt.
All this of course means that (however briefly) the nuclear football will be in the hands of a woman for the first time ever. Harris of course has long harboured such ambitions, despite her brief, inglorious and ultimately doomed bid for power in 2020 ending with the Californian Senator dropping out of the race after failing to win a single primary. But now she's built back better and with doubts growing about whether the increasingly unpopular 79-year-old Biden will want, or be able to, mount another presidential run, Mr S suspects it won't be the last time we're confronted by the spectre of President Kamala Harris.
'So help me God,' indeed.