Rod Liddle

Another Islamist succeeds only in burning his balls

Another Islamist succeeds only in burning his balls
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'Mr Schuringa then saw a ‘burning object’ – which he said resembled a small, white shampoo bottle – between the student’s legs. Mr Schuringa said: ‘It was smoking and there were flames coming from beneath his legs. I pulled the object from him and tried to extinguish the fire with my hands then threw it away.”'Daily Mail

How can we best help them, these angry young Muslim imbeciles who want us all dead, but are too thick to do anything about it? Abdul Farouk Umar Abdullah, a Nigerian, is the “syringe bomber” who attempted to detonate a device on an aeroplane above Detroit on Boxing Day, but succeeded only in setting his balls on fire. Goodness, gracious, etc. You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain, etc. Hopefully he will end up sharing a cell with the fabulously cretinous “Shoebomber”, Richard Reid, who forgot to take a lighter with him and anyway couldn’t find his fuse. Or those doctors who spent year upon year planning to blow up Glasgow Airport but couldn’t even drive through the front doors. Or the other doctors who left a bomb in a car outside a nightclub in London but forgot to set it off. Christ alive. If Armageddon really is coming and we are headed towards the final prophesied conflagration, whose side would you rather be on? The side represented by the Palestinian Authority, the Sudanese government, Abdul, Richard and those doctors – or the Israeli army? The remarkable thing is that time after time these half-wits are foiled not by government driven security measures, or the perspicacity of our secret agents, but by their own forlorn IQs. Or might it be that Allah is trying to tell them something?

I suppose, in a spirit of diversity and tolerance, we could set up training camps somewhere in the Pennines suicidal Muslims could learn to blow themselves up and then, in a final, glorious coming out parade, actually do so, perhaps watched admiringly by the Home Secretary or a minor royal. It would be a bit like those citizenship tests, except with a less equivocal conclusion.