Arise, Sir Gareth!

I detected a degree of surprise among those people who were uncommonly cheered by Sir Keir Starmer’s election victory that England failed to beat Spain in the final of the European Championship. That wasn’t in the script. For those Labour supporters in the press and floating in the shallow trough of luvviedom, an England victory would have been the first thing to gild this brave new era of kindness, generosity of spirit and diversity.

I would not begrudge Southgate a knighthood, given the state of the national game when he took over

These were the sorts of qualities associated with the England manager Gareth Southgate, who needed no more encouragement to bob down on one knee in support of a divisive and extremist political cause, Black Lives Matter, than did the Labour leader, if you remember. Freed from the shackles of nasty and incompetent Conservatism, the England team could finally express itself – including the large proportion of players who were the offspring of immigrants from the… what’s that ludicrous phrase?… global majority. How fitting that would be and an immediate riposte to the Forces of Horrid – Farage and Braverman et al.

It was of course under a Labour government that England won its only ever meaningful trophy, even if the team (Bobby and Jack excepted) were largely Tories by inclination. Most sportsmen were Tories in those days, but not any more. Even the managers we have imported into the game – Pep Guardiola, Jürgen Klopp – are lefties. All the right has is Neil Warnock and Matt Le Tissier – oh, and maybe Jose Mourinho. The cultural establishment of our nation has never been further to the left – so much so that those who do not embrace an uplifting and vacuous liberal creed simply keep their gobs shut.