Melissa Kite Melissa Kite

As long as jokes remain legal I’ll keep on making them

My horse insurance company has written a three-page letter of complaint because I poked fun at its marketing campaign

Mr Benn has been in touch because he wants a right of reply to an article I wrote about my horse insurance.

Yes, I am aware that sentence makes no sense, but this is the world we live in. You may remember I was surprised to receive my insurance documents for Darcy the thoroughbred with a covering letter from the 1970s children’s TV character.

For reasons I could not make out, my insurers had gone from being a reassuringly serious-looking outfit called Equine and Livestock to being called the Insurance Emporium in big loopy letters with a logo that was a bowler-hatted, waving Mr Benn.

All things considered, the incongruity seemed fair game. So I cracked a few jokes about it in the pursuit of happiness.

And now the company has been in touch to explain itself in a lengthy, serious and extremely detailed three-page letter.

I cannot reproduce the response of the Customer Experience Manager word for word here as it would take up all of this page and several others.

This chap tells me his firm wants to ‘maintain an amicable relationship’ with me — so you can imagine.

On balance, even if there was room, I would refuse to burden you with an insurance firm’s full explanation of why they have branded themselves with a picture of Mr Benn.

However, in the interests of even-handedness, here are the edited highlights of its statement. Also, I do quite want you to see what I have to put up with every time I crack a joke:

‘Dear Ms Kite, I write to you following the publication of your article… The Insurance Emporium is the fresh face of E&L and a new way for you to protect the things you love. We know that people’s interests and hobbies are eclectic, so we wanted to offer flexible insurance that reflects that and offers freedom and ease to our customers.

Already a subscriber? Log in

Keep reading with a free trial

Subscribe and get your first month of online and app access for free. After that it’s just £1 a week.

There’s no commitment, you can cancel any time.


Unlock more articles



Don't miss out

Join the conversation with other Spectator readers. Subscribe to leave a comment.

Already a subscriber? Log in