Rod Liddle Rod Liddle

At least these rioters hate the right people

It must be said that none of those who attended the Cereal Killer Café protest appeared to be horny-handed sons of toil

I was unable to join the violent protests held by Class War at the Cereal Killer Café in London last week because I had to stay at home to supervise our gardener. Yes — I know what you’re about to say. It is indeed ridiculous that one should have to stand over workmen to ensure that they are doing a decent job. But there is a patch of lawn towards the rear of our grounds which the blighters always skimp on, believing that it is too far from the house for us to notice. So I stand down there, with a cheerfully expectant expression, as the surly little man goes about his labours.

The Class War march was not terribly well attended, despite the publicity it received. Perhaps many others who would have turned up were having similar problems with their own servants — here a recalcitrant and infanticidally inclined nanny, there an indolent and kleptomaniac char-woman. None of those interviewed themselves seemed to be horny-handed sons of toil. There was Adam Clifford, a performance artist, yoga teacher and poet whose most recent work is entitled ‘Android Death Queer’: please — hurry, hurry, while stocks last. And Simon Elmer (not present at the march, but a supporter: probably at home nanny-watching, I would guess), who is a former professor of that most resolutely blue-collar of disciplines, art history. And Class War’s current star, the henna-haired perpetual student Lisa McKenzie, who is currently a ‘research fellow’ at the London School of Economics, having been in one or another useless branch of academia for the past 15 years, paid for by the impoverished taxpayer.

You could tell these furious monkeys were not working-class because of their Stalinist adherence to any and every manifestation of fatuous identity politics, especially fatuous gender-based identity politics.

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