Did you know that the problem with the Bible is that it is, frankly, a book for liberal surrender-monkeys? Apparently so. Hence the urgent need for a new, properly conservative translation. Let's hear it for the Conservative Bible Project.
Apparently, As of 2009, there is no fully conservative translation of the Bible which satisfies the following ten guidelines...
- Framework against Liberal Bias: providing a strong framework that enables a thought-for-thought translation without corruption by liberal bias
- Not Emasculated: avoiding unisex, "gender inclusive" language, and other modern emasculation of Christianity
- Not Dumbed Down: not dumbing down the reading level, or diluting the intellectual force and logic of Christianity; the NIV is written at only the 7th grade level.
- Utilize Powerful Conservative Terms: using powerful new conservative terms as they develop; defective translations use the word "comrade" three times as often as "volunteer"; similarly, updating words which have a change in meaning, such as "word", "peace", and "miracle"
- Combat Harmful Addiction: combating addiction by using modern terms for it, such as "gamble" rather than "cast lots"; using modern political terms, such as "register" rather than "enroll" for the census
- Accept the Logic of Hell: applying logic with its full force and effect, as in not denying or downplaying the very real existence of Hell or the Devil.
- Express Free Market Parables; explaining the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning
- Exclude Later-Inserted Liberal Passages: excluding the later-inserted liberal passages that are not authentic, such as the adulteress story
- Credit Open-Mindedness of Disciples: crediting open-mindedness, often found in youngsters like the eyewitnesses Mark and John, the authors of two of the Gospels
- Prefer Conciseness over Liberal Wordiness: preferring conciseness to the liberal style of high word-to-substance ratio; avoid compound negatives and unnecessary ambiguities
Among the egregious examples of liberal bias? This:
The earliest, most authentic manuscripts lack this verse set forth at Luke 23:34:
Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."
Is this a liberal corruption of the original? This does not appear in any other Gospel, and the simple fact is that some of the persecutors of Jesus did know what they were doing. This quotation is a favorite of liberals but should not appear in a conservative Bible.
I don't know about it being a liberal corruption but it's certainly a linguistic one. Compare the feebleness of "forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing" with the trenchant, euphonious and pithy "forgive them, for they know not what they do" in the Authorised Version.
Still, this is a project worth monitoring since it promises no end of entertaining barminess. I mean really, if he weren't so busy weeping Jesus would laugh at it all.
[Hat-tip: Rod Dreher]