The Spectator

BOTTOM INSPECTORS

Children, to judge by school exam results, just keep on getting cleverer. But in the inexorable rise of official literary and numeracy levels, there is sure to be a little blip: among those who began school in the autumn of 2002.

When, in a dozen or so years’ time, prospective employers are shaking their heads at the spelling errors in their CVs, they will have to explain that their early months of education were severely disrupted by government red tape.

British classrooms are enduring their Hatfield moment. Just as one broken rail in Hertfordshire in 2000 had led, within days, to the paralysis of the entire rail network, so the murder of Holly Wells and Jessica Chapman has led in some cases to the complete suspension of education. Schools have been unable to open because thousands of new teaching staff still await clearance by the Criminal Records Bureau. Pupils have been unable to get to school because the personal histories of bus drivers are being scanned for traces of paedophilia. And this week we learn that many local authorities have ordered a ban on mothers helping in the classroom until they, too, have been checked for a propensity to grope Daisy’s and Tom’s best friends. Without parent-helpers, many children will be denied reading practice and will be set back months in their learning to read.

Nobody likes the idea that some groping adult might be allowed access to their children, but the crusade against paedophiles being waged by the government and other public bodies is bordering on the hysterical. Parents attempting to take their children into the lavatories at several London parks are now met with signs warning that on no account must they accompany little Johnny inside; he must manage by himself.

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