Being Vice President of the US ranks as one of the worst jobs in the world. It comes with practically no power yet carries enough responsibility that it can kill your future career prospects. Cactus Jack Garner, the 32nd man to hold the post, famously described the position as ‘not worth a bucket of warm piss’.
And they still have to work for it. Tonight we get to watch Tim Kaine, for the Democrats, and Mike Pence, for the Republicans, go head-to-head in the one – and only – vice presidential debate of the campaign. For 90 minutes, they’ll have to slug it out on live TV for the right to that bucket. Their task is simple: avoid making any gaffes; defend the number-one name on the ticket; and land a few blows on the opposing presidential candidate.
Ordinarily, that would make for a dullish evening. One for political junkies interested in what two policy wonks have to say rather than prime-time viewers looking for a spectacle. But this is no ordinary campaign.
It will be fascinating to see how Pence gets on. So far his job as Trump’s running mate has been as clean-up man, quietly adding decency and nuance to crass statements of intent or trying to defend positions he is known to oppose. He has outlined his support for Nato after his boss suggested the US would not come to the support of allies. He has praised the family of a Muslim American killed in Iraq after Trump had begun smearing them. And he has suggested name-calling has no place in US life, rather undermining the Donald’s entire campaign strategy.
It’s one thing to do that via a tweet, press release or interview with a sympathetic journalist. It is quite another to do it on live television for 90 minutes without a break. All while your opponent is a few feet away ready to trample over any inconsistencies. Can Pence tread the fine line between ‘clarifying’ Trump’s positions – for instance on Alicia Machado (the former Miss Universe) or on his taxes – and selling out his boss?
Kaine’s job will be to destroy that line. Every time Pence manages to make Trump seem normal, Kaine has to undermine him, by reminding viewers that his opponent on stage is defending a man who has celebrated his ability to enter a $916 million loss in his tax returns, and has made misogyny a central theme of his campaign.
This will not be your typical VP debate. And this year, not to put to fine a point on it, the stakes are higher than usual. If Hillary Clinton wins, she would be 69 by the time she enters the Oval Office; Donald Trump a year older. The VP would be in prime position to run in four years time. Or even sooner if an ageing president cannot even complete a single term.
That adds a certain frisson to tonight’s clash between two white men in their late 50s whose names you may struggle to remember (which is apparently the case for around 40 per cent of Americans, if the polls are to be believed). So for once, a warm bucket of piss may not be the only prize at stake.
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