Can you win the Booker Prize without being able to write?

I mentioned a couple of days ago being underwhelmed by Orbital, Samantha Harvey’s Booker Prize-winning novel. But I am a glutton for punishment, and continuing to ignore my long-held practice of never reading Booker winners, I bought last year’s victor – Prophet Song, by Paul Lynch. As I mentioned, this is about a nasty right-wing government taking over in Ireland and being horrid to union officials. It didn’t sound quite up my street, but I thought I’d give it a go. And then I read the second sentence in the book:

How the dark gathers without sound the cherry trees.

I mean, hello? You’re trying too hard, mate. I know you’re meant to try, when you’re writing a serious novel. But the trick surely is not to let the trying show. And there you’ve got it in the second sentence. I almost threw the book away. I get worked up about this sort of thing. If I read that on the first page how can I continue, knowing there’s more of it to come?

It reminded me of a novel I read about 15 years ago. Or at least the first page of a novel I read 15 years ago – until I came to the line: ‘I breakfasted on coffee and apples.’ I don’t know why that line made me so cross, but I couldn’t read another word. I shall persevere with Paul for a bit.