Clegg’s humdinger of a rally

That was a great wee speech by Nick Clegg. “We have only five ministers in the Cabinet,” he said. “Well, six if you include Ken Clarke.” His mission was quite tough: to go meet the membership of a party that had just lost half of its popular support, was spanked in an AV referendum, seen its troops massacred in English councils and seen its support in Scotland shrink to staff members and blood relatives – all simply because Clegg joined the Tories in government. But he made the case brilliantly. The BBC estimates that the Lib Dems have implemented three quarters of their manifesto he said, more than the Tories. “Not bad for a party with just 8 per cent of the seats.”

He handled criticisms of him rather well. Some Lib Dems mutter that Clegg and his lieutenants have sacrificed the party for his own careers. Clegg cleverly made the trappings of his new office into a joke, saying when he was in Chevening he was having ‘second thoughts’ about Vince Cable’s mansion tax. As for his other critics: well, that’s just the Daily Mail he said. Complaining that he’s “half Dutch, half Russian” and with a Spanish wife to boot. “If the Daily Mail says you’re the most dangerous man in Britain, you’re doing something right.”

His main point was: “We are fighting for liberal values every single day.” Now, “Liberal values” isn’t quite the same as “Liberal Democrat values”. The distinction is important. Everyone in that conference hall knows that the Liberal Democrat party may never recover. Clegg’s sole hope of saving his party from obliteration is to rebuild it around the word ‘liberal’ – replacing the lefties, who have gone, with centrists. He insisted, “We’re proving we are no longer a protect vote, a luxury vote or – worst of all – a wasted vote.” Much as I admire Clegg, my hunch about the Liberal Democrats persists: that this party which was predated by Kylie’s music career will also be outlasted by it. But tonight, Clegg gave a brilliant impression of a man leading a party going from strength to strength. It was a masterclass in suspending disbelief. I suspect that, just for a few moments, those in the room actually believed it.