Competition | 5 September 2009

In Competition No. 2611 you were invited to provide a poem to be recited on the Fourth Plinth in Trafalgar Square.
Thanks to Juliet Walker, who suggested this challenge: it was a popular one that drew a large and bracing entry. What is more, I was unaware when I set it that there is already a fully fledged plinther poet in our midst. George Simmers, a regular on these pages, took to the plinth at 1 a.m. on 6 August and recited his specially composed poem, which begins: ‘So. Here we are. Trafalgar Square./ And I’m up here and you’re down there…’. A statement on his webzine, Snakeskin, reports that Mr Simmers ‘was there, he thoroughly enjoyed himself, and he didn’t fall off’.  And, unlike some, he remained fully clothed.

Mike Morrison, G.M. Davis and Geoffrey Tapper shone but were narrowly outflanked by the winners, printed below, who get £30 each. The bonus fiver is Alan Millard’s.

Here behold me, raised in glory, lifted to my
    proper station.
Hearken all who stand before me, hear my
    message to the nation.
Mine are words of poignant power, words to
    ponder, words to savour.
Grant me of your time one hour! All I ask is
    this small favour.
No dull sermon shall I offer, nor some
    politician’s prattle,
Neither shall you hear me proffer scandal
    mongering tittle-tattle
But, within the time remaining, given your
    co-operation,
I shall tell you, though it’s raining, all about my
    operation.
Long I’d watched the nodule growing, long had
    seen it bulge and burgeon
Ever bigger, sadly knowing soon I’d have to see
    a surgeon.
My consultant, Mr Comber, turned towards me
    speaking gravely
And, in manner sad and sombre, bid me take
    the bad news bravely:
‘This,’ he said, ‘is quite compelling.