Competition: Political verse

In Competition No. 2754 you were invited to submit an example from the Selected Poems of a contemporary politician.

Politician-poets have met with varying degrees of success. While Jimmy Carter’s efforts prompted literary heavyweight Harold Bloom to pronounce him ‘in my judgment literally the worst poet in the United States’, the youthful dabblings of Barack Obama have been judged more kindly. Closer to home, Dominique de Villepin has published several well received collections of poetry.

So how did your chosen victims fare? Step forward, Dennis Skinner, George Galloway, Nicolas Sarkozy and Tony Blair. Brian Murdoch as Alex Salmond channelling William McGonagall takes £35. The rest get £30.

T’will be in the year of two thousand and fourteen
That we shall have the greatest referendum ever
seen,
And Bonnie Scotland shall from Albion become free
For the first time since we took them over in six-
teen-o-three
When wee King Jamie sat on the English throne.
And although naebody even wanted to hack my
‘phone
And I might look a bit like Shrek (only less green),
First Minister Salmond will soon replace yon
English queen,
And also English poets like Milton and
what’d’yecall’em all,
Who’re never as guid as Burns, or me, or the great
McGonagall.
I’m a major figure on the international stage
today,
Even if they dinnae always ken where it is I’m frae,
So in far California I meet them with a smile
Though they usually think Scotland’s part of Erin’s
Isle,
And for Chinese human rights I’ve nae worries or
cares
Because they lent Edinburgh two fine fat panda
bears.
Brian Murdoch

Bless this House! It gives me leave
To shout down, torment, nag and peeve
The toffs that speak in accents posh,
More fun than cockroaches to squash.
I’m licensed to abuse and sting
And nobody can do a thing.