Conquering heroes

Just 555 short years ago last month, troops led by Mehmed II broke through the walls of the ancient Christian capital of Constantinople, ending a gallant defence by Constantine Paleologos, the last king of Byzantium. Just five even shorter days ago, a portly barrister and a ten-year-old almost pulled off the greatest cricket upset ever, but like Byzantium it was not to be. Ironically, I contributed to both gallant but losing causes: in spirit only in Constantinople; by fielding my arse off at the cricket. More about the portly barrister and the ten-year-old later.

As barbarians tend to do, Mehmed rode triumphantly into the city on a white horse. Soon, churches became mosques and Constantinople became Istanbul. This was Islam’s greatest victory ever. For nearly a millennium, Constantinople had been the foremost barrier to Islam’s sustained drive for world conquest. Mehmed did not stop there. He went on to conquer Greece — but not the Ionian islands because the Taki family came from there — Serbia and the Balkans south of the Danube and the Crimean Peninsula. His grandson and great-grandson added Mecca and Medina, Iraq, North Africa and parts of Hungary.

Although I hate to admit it, conquest of other people is hardly an Islamic invention. The man we know as Genghis Khan believed it was his divine right to lead the Mongols to world domination. Genghis also loved his job. ‘Man’s highest joy is victory, to pursue his enemies, to deprive them of their possessions, to make their beloved weep, to ride on their horses, and to rape their wives and daughters.’ (Verbatim the speech Zac Goldsmith gave his team just before going in to bat against us last week.)

A descendant of Genghis Khan, Hulagu, took Baghdad in 1258, executed the caliph and sacked one of the world’s most sophisticated cities at the time.