The groans that must be coming from the newsrooms of the Guardian and the BBC right now! With a descant of coloratura shrieks from right-on luvvies. And, needless to say, vigorous hand-wringing – they'll be sending out for Band-Aids to treat their sore fingers by the end of the day.
'Progressive' Labour supporters in higher income brackets did not want Jeremy Corbyn to win today. You only have to read the agonised Twitter streams of just about every liberal journalist in the country to realise that.
You don't have to tell me that the man's policies are bonkers and the sympathies of his far-Left supporters verging on the sinister. But the Guardian/BBC lobby weren't bothered by these people when they were staging 'Stop the War' protests, and though they didn't join the 'Occupy' mob they looked benevolently on such marvellously spontaneous anti-capitalist street theatre.
Which was a bit rich, because – like bien pensant types everywhere – British liberal-Left professionals are obsessed with money. Spending it, mostly. Peckish? Try the Chiltern Firehouse red prawns – 'an echo of Sicily in Marylebone,' gushes the Guardian, 'an impression intensified by their pool of almond milk, slivers of toasted almonds and delicate flower buds ... a masterpiece in pastels'. Nothing's too good for the workers – and, more importantly, their champions in the media, the arts, 'charities' etc, who put these little treats on exes to make damn sure they don't eat into their six-figure salaries.
But now the socialist party they vote for has spoiled everything by electing an actual socialist to lead it, a man so uncouth that it never occurs to him to ease the stress of defending the marginalised by dropping essential oils into his jacuzzi.
It's all so embarrassing, it really is. The Polish 'help' has been quite impertinent since you gently reproved her for voting Tory in May. Now she's going to be insufferable...