Q. A good friend of my husband’s always addresses me as ‘Gorgeous’ or ‘my sweetie’, as he does many of his other female friends. After two years it is starting to grate and I would like him to start calling me by my given name. How can I get the message across without hurting his feelings? I can’t ask my husband to say anything as he is just too tactless and his friend does mean well, even though his efforts to be suave and charming fall flat. His friend considers himself a ladies’ man but sadly just doesn’t have the ‘necessary’ to carry it off!
S.W., Swadlincote
A. If your concern is that other people might consider the two of you an item, then do not worry. Your body language will indicate that this is not the case. Let the old buffer carry on with these harmless endearments.
Q. We don’t usually have many visitors to our weekend hideaway as we come down from London for a rest. However, I recently had a diplomat from an EU country to stay and a good friend invited us (and him) to a country house opera and prepared a sumptuous meal. His thank-you email the following Monday said ‘…and please thank so and so for the opera’. I politely replied giving her address, suggesting he might want to drop our opera hostess a note. He said he preferred not to and instead I should simply do the thanking. I think this is very naughty. What do you say Mary?
D.J., Mildenhall, Wiltshire
A. Email the diplomat back saying, ‘Don’t worry if you are busy. I’ve got some time on my hands these days so I’ll do it for you. Just send me a sheet of your letterhead and sign the bottom of the page and I’ll fill in the words for you.
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