Q. I am an elderly widow and have never been a demonstrative person. Recently, a young lady who frequents my circle asked if she could hug me: I have no particular feelings for her, and had no hesitation in saying no. Since then she has made a habit of pouncing on me when I am conversing with someone else or otherwise occupied, and hugging me anyway. She has turned it into a game that I have no wish to play. I do not wish to seem to overreact to this behaviour; but I value my personal space and would prefer not to have it invaded. How can I deal with this without giving offence? Would a sharp jab to the solar plexus be considered vulgar? Thank you for your consideration of my plight.
M.J., by email
A. A jab to the solar plexus could be good. You could say you had been taking martial art training and that your body was now programmed to react instantly to perceived assaults. However, to avoid the risk of osteoporotic breakages, you could alternatively wear a couple of pins in the clothing around your chest area. Carefully positioned to be virtually invisible, these would still have great jabbing power. ‘Oh dear,’ you could sympathise, as the young lady is lanced. ‘Those are my poppy pins. I must have forgotten to remove them after Remembrance Day.’
Q. I am having a 50th birthday party at our cottage in the country and two of the guests will be arriving in their helicopters. My dilemma, Mary, is that the only place they can land is at the Big House which is a mile away. Isn’t the point of flying in by helicopter to a party that other guests will see you doing so? (One of the guests lives only 20 minutes away by car.)
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