Q. Last weekend we went abroad to a birthday party of great friends of ours. We often meet them when they come to London, and invite them to join us at my club. They are coming to visit London again, this time with another couple, whom we hardly know. Of course we would like to invite our friends to dine with us again, and are prepared to invite their friends too; however, I’m not keen to have to pay for them as well. What do you advise me to do? To say that we can only invite two guests at a time wouldn’t work, for our friends are too familiar with English methods to believe that. Your famous wisdom please!
Name withheld, Norfolk
A. There is no way around this. You will have to invite all four of them, and as the only member you will be the only one allowed to pay. Even if the couple you hardly know realise that, and offer to settle up with you afterwards, it would strike the wrong note for you to accept. Unfortunately, people do tend to think of clubs as private houses where it is not that expensive to entertain. The good side is that, in the eyes of the primary friends, this hospitality by proxy will count as a double credit in your favour.
Q. Recent correspondence on the issue of the word ‘toilet’ prompts me to seek advice on the ancillary issue of the toilet paper. Is it now acceptable to call this ‘toilet paper’ or perhaps ‘loo paper’? Indeed, is it ‘paper’ or ‘tissue’ in polite society? Furthermore, should it always be plain white or is coloured paper now acceptable? And, actually, should the roll peel from the inside or outside of the spindle? Please give a ruling, Mary.
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