Q. Florentine society is notoriously difficult to penetrate, so a girl with whom I briefly shared a flat was delighted when I invited her to dinner and she met lots of my friends at the private art school I attend there. I also invited her to attend one of the brilliant lectures given every Thursday night by the principal of our school. The lectures are open to all but only a handful of non-students attend. The last two Thursdays this girl was waiting for me with an eager smile when I walked in, but Thursday nights are the only time I am with my fellow students when we are not all hard at work and we have a chance to talk and bond before and after the lecture. I do like her, but how can I circulate freely, without hurting her feelings but also without keeping her in tow?
Name withheld, Florence, Italy
A. Explain to her that you have become something of an informal ambassador/pastoral carer for the school and must now circulate, discreetly enquiring whether all is well amongst your fellow pupils. For this reason she must not be offended if you do not stick by her side all evening.
Q. Is it good form, insulting, or just naff to be told what one should wear to a private gathering? I have recently been instructed to wear ‘smart casual’ and ‘very casual’ and wonder where it will end. ‘No shorts or braces’ perhaps. What do you think? Is it necessary to give any instructions? I am tempted to put ‘clothes will be worn’ on my next invitation.
H.C.P., Chepstow, Monmouthshire
A. Unless guests are required to wear fancy dress, black tie or a smoking jacket, it is not the norm to issue dress codes for parties within a private house.
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