Q. After a beach picnic in Denmark two girlfriends and I went for a walk in the dunes. Returning along the beach we found we had to cross a naturist section. A man made it clear that we must conform and so we did, feeling rather foolish carrying our bikinis — but we had nowhere to hide them! — to be greeted at the far end by our goggle-eyed husbands. They said the man had his own agenda. In future, what is the etiquette for crossing the nudist section of a beach?
—V.W., London SW6
A. A frisson of excitement is detectable in your enquiry. It suggests that you may have quite enjoyed the enforced exposure. However for those who genuinely do not wish to ‘bare all’ the solution is to turn back — immerse yourselves in the sea for ten minutes and ensure you have wet hair to justify draping yourself in a beach towel as you re-enter the nudist zone chatting busily to one another and keeping your eyes averted.
Q. May I pass on a tip I got from the late Mr Robin Prising of New York, who in turn learnt it from (Dame) Sybil Thorndike? It’s the best temporary quick fix for undyed roots or unwelcome grey about the temples. Old-fashioned cake mascara will discreetly cover the annoying areas. It is still available in black, brown — and white for blending, from Charles Fox in Covent Garden. When applying, always remember that less, as they say, is more. Don’t try to cover every single bit.
—B.T., Norfolk
A. Thank you for taking the time to submit this tip. It brings to mind the cautionary tale of a traveller on the Trans-Siberian railway from St Petersburg to Beijing, a 21-day journey. Posing as someone two decades younger in order to entrap her potential romantic victim, her ploy was thwarted when, after a fortnight’s flirtation, a battalion of grey hairs began to march out of her root line, thus putting off the young man. ‘It was not so much that she suddenly looked older,’ he admitted, ‘because I am attracted to older women. It was because she had tried to deceive me.’
Q. I telephoned someone for a chat. She was perfectly polite but gave me short shrift. We are not best friends but we do have very good friends in common. I do not now know whether I can relax and assume she was drunk or upset about something, or whether I should try and find out through mutual friends if I have done something to annoy her.
—M.T., Devon
A. Short shrift is usually nothing personal. It is to do with being stressed and is why big bosses have pleasant intermediaries to act as buffers between themselves and would-be interlocutors — otherwise they would snap their heads off. For this reason many readers collect messages on answerphones at this time of year and ring people back when they are feeling civil.
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