Q. A friend gives regular dinner parties with all the potential to be brilliant events. She knows wonderful people and always has an interesting mix. She has a flat in Chelsea. She is a beautiful, stylish and generous woman but she rarely gets the food on the table before 10 p.m., by which time people are feeling a bit tired and irritable and also drunk and full of nuts and crisps. Our friend is a businesswoman and seems to be hard-wired to do everything at the last minute. She laughs when we tease her but nothing changes. She is giving another dinner soon but my husband is losing patience with her. How can I help her to mend her ways?
— K.M.B., London SW3
A. Confide that your husband has a blood test the next morning and has to fast for 12 hours before it. Ask if it is possible to have finished eating by 10 p.m. — otherwise, sadly, you will not be able to attend. The dinner is bound to go with a swing and, when thanking her, you can speak plainly about why.
Q. I have a number of friends at art school who occasionally show me their work and ask me what I think. I find that any response except for complete flattery is met with great upset but I hate to say that I like something when I don’t. What should I do?
— G.B., London W11
A. You could do lasting damage by crushing the fragile egos of those for whom positive feedback is vital if their work is to eventually emanate authority. As a friend, your duty, when confronted with work which you deem to be ‘bad’, is to study it in respectful silence for a good time.
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