Mary Killen Mary Killen

Dear Mary | 15 March 2008

Your problems solved

issue 15 March 2008

Q. Somewhat fortuitously I was recently a guest of an eminent London picture dealer in an excellent restaurant in the West End. Among the assembled were various racehorse owners and trainers. I happened to be sitting next to a lord whose family are members of the Beerage. I could not help but notice that the said peer had a monogram of his title with coronet above, embroidered on his shirt. Due to his ample bosom this was very obvious. Do you consider this correct or is it rather parvenu, Mary?

W.M., Stonegrave, York

A. Monogrammed shirts are not quite so bad as personalised number plates. Monogrammed slippers are acceptable if worn at home because they are slightly jokey. Equally, boxes of matches with coronets are fine inside the home. The Earls of Sandwich kept, for many years, a caravan on the Isle of Wight with their coat of arms emblazoned on the door — also as a joke — but the general rule is that drawing attention to one’s rank or riches in public is never acceptable. So the peer in question has committed a faux pas.

Q. We have a very nice au pair staying with us. As great foodies we like to buy ourselves treats — passion fruits, expensive chocolates, roasted macadamia nuts and artisan cheeses. These cost a fortune. In the past our au pairs much preferred supermarket cheddar, thought passion fruit looked disgusting and bought their own snacks, so we were safe. But this girl rather enjoys availing herself of our treats. How can I tell her not to polish off our Neal’s Yard Stichelton and gobble through the passion fruits without sounding like stingy tightwads? Please help.

T.D., London SE5

A. There is no full solution to this problem. Two-tier eating systems are always invidious and au pairs, in any case, are supposed to be treated as guests.

GIF Image

Disagree with half of it, enjoy reading all of it

TRY 3 MONTHS FOR $5
Our magazine articles are for subscribers only. Start your 3-month trial today for just $5 and subscribe to more than one view

Comments

Join the debate for just $5 for 3 months

Be part of the conversation with other Spectator readers by getting your first three months for $5.

Already a subscriber? Log in