Q. May I offer an alternative solution to the query from Yokohama last week? A 60-year-old man wrote that people complimented him on his girlfriend’s looks — but in a manner barely concealing amazement that he has managed to attract such a beauty. When this happens, I would suggest he reply: ‘Yes, I agree. And the wonderful thing is that everyone assumes I must be much richer than I actually am.’
N.P., Winchester
A. Thank you. This complements my own suggested response. Apologies to T.E. of Yokohama to whose letter I attributed the wrong initials.
Q. Where a brown ‘Services’ sign appears on a main road and no public lavatories exist, I believe that establishments on the site, such as, let us say, Big Cook or MacDougal’s, are mandated to permit the public to use their lavatories without obligation. If this is true, how should one carry out the manoeuvre? Does one pause at the ‘Wait to be seated’ sign and then whisper; stride past the sign but indicate to staff your intention; or maybe head straight for your goal ignoring all else? And, on exiting, what etiquette should be observed? Do staff in such organisations understand this obligation? How might one respond if challenged? I look forward to your advice.
I.L., Hampshire
A. It does not matter whether the staff understand the obligation or not. Head straight for your goal. Simply smile radiantly at any attendant who blocks your passage, so to speak, and nod in the direction of the facility, saying ‘Thank you. That would be so helpful.’ If challenged on exiting, beam similarly and say ‘Thank you. That was so helpful.’
Q. Here is a difficult problem for you, Mary. There are very few people in our neck of the woods who would wish to have my husband and me to dinner — around 16 of them to be precise. Equally there are only about 16 people, the very same 16, who would want to come to us. This means that we have the constant problem of who sits next to whom. Given the social desert in which we live, Mary, how can I liven things up?
Name withheld, Lancashire
A. Why not take a tip from a successful Highlands hostess who rings the changes in the following manner. Instead of seating man/woman/man/woman by turn, she seats two men/two women by turn so each guest sits next to both a man and a woman. This works well after a certain age, when the flirting potential has been exhausted. Women are always happy to talk practicalities with other women and men tend to complain less about going out if they have the inviting prospect of sitting next to another grumbler.
Q. My wife drinks Actimel, and has done for some while, finding that it aids her digestion. I am delighted that our London club now provides it at breakfast — and suitably cooled. However I wonder, how one should consume it in the dining room? Directly from the plastic container? With a spoon (horn or silver)? Or decanted into a glass?
M.D., Burton-in-Wirral
A. You should decant it and drink directly from the glass. In this way you show consideration to fellow members since spoon-scraping noises can jangle breakfast-time nerves.
Comments