Q. I worked on the features desk of a newspaper for many years and had a desk in an office with dozens of colleagues around me every day. Now I freelance from home and do not meet any men — let alone other women. Mary, I do not fancy internet dating but what is your advice?
— S.G., London W11
A. May I recommend combining your next holiday with a creative writing course? In this way you can kill three birds with one stone. You can get on with breaking the back of some non-commissioned writing you might be too lazy to do without a deadline; you can eat, drink, rest and not be cold without having to worry about shopping, cooking or washing up; and you may find some kindred spirits and extend your social network. These courses are quite affordable, all things considered. There is one in Norfolk, led by Raffaella Barker, starting on 25 February. On the website www.barshambarns.co.uk you will see that four nights cost £695 all in, including log fires.
Q. At an all-girls lunch to celebrate my 40th, an old friend circulated two photos of me — with nothing on, of course. One was the usual baby picture. But the other was from my student days: I face the camera on a walk in the Alps wearing just trainers, a sun hat and a smile. I managed to laugh it off but I feel it was very tactless — I am a JP, chair of school governors etc., and have political ambitions. Yet my twice-divorced friend is a kind godmother to one of my children. How do I make clear to her my concern about the possible consequences of such jokes but keep our friendship?
— V.M., London SW1
A. Short of a Watergate-style break in at the friend’s house and being able to lay your hands on the negative as well, you will not be able to destroy this evidence. What is more, you can be sure that one of the other women around the table at your 40th has already rephotographed the image on her own telephone. When loss of dignity is unavoidable you must take a ‘Boris and the zipwire’ approach. Sit back and let events take their natural course. It will do no harm for your public to see that you have a hinterland.
Q. Regarding the problem of paying somebody who would not normally accept a tip — tell them you are feeling very lucky, and give them a £5 note on condition that they buy five lottery tickets and split the winnings with you.
— P.V., Isle of Man
A. Bear in mind that this tactic could backfire, causing the recipient to associate you with disappointment rather than pleasure. As the 11th Duke of Devonshire said of racing, ‘Only spend what you can afford to lose.’ If you must promote gambling, better to hand them ready-bought scratch cards and thus spare them the nuisance of having to buy lottery tickets.
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